King Snob of New England Disses Philly

Mitt Romney, whose name is Mitt Romney, is the governor of Massachussetts (That’s him, pictured above). When our fearless leader Ed Rendell offered him a bet, lobster vs. cheesesteaks, Mitt refused because cheesesteaks aren’t healthy. What? Being from Massachussettes, where eating a cheesesteak and holding a newborn baby require the same amount of delicacy (see Kerry, John), Mitt was obviously scared Mitt (I won’t be using the pronoun ‘he’ at all in this story)would come off as big of a pansy as Kerry did. Or, being a New England snob, Mitt probably won’t eat anything that doesn’t come with bibs or in chowdah form. Also, I’d like to remind our readers, his name is Mitt Romney! Now of course this would have been a non-issue if Mitt was confident the Patriots would win, b/c he wouldn’t have to eat said cheesesteak. But since Mitt (that’s his name) plans on crying on Ben Affleck’s shoulder on the night of the Super Bowl, Mitt thought Mitt better offer up something else.