Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee

The Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee was founded in 1877 by Rutherford B. Hayes in an attempt to curb cheating at “America’s Pasttime, Quizzo”. The Committee soon came to the aid of Chester A. Goodtimes, who was having problems with mavericks shooting at him when they disagreed with answers. The Committee made firing at Chester a crime punishable by a seven point score deduction, and the gunfire quickly ceased. Several members of the Committee are over 175 years old, and they do not like to be called on by Johnny. When they are called on, their judgement is usually swift and severe. Therefore, Johnny asks that you please not lie, cheat, steal, discharge a firearm or make out with anyone (besides him*) while you are playing the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular. Thank you.

*Ladies only, please.
Johnny Goodtimes Ethics Committee (from L to R: Steve Perry, Gervase, Mickey Morandini, Gavrilo Princip, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, and Cousin Oliver)

His Boy Elroy Breaks Record

His Boy Elroy turned in a remarkable performance on Wednesday night, breaking the hours old record with a 110. They answered 38 out of 40 questions correctly to blow past the competition. The Horsecranks finished 2nd, with a respectable 96.

Hitler Supports Limbaugh’s Statements!

Old Bastard
Adolph Hitler came out of hiding in the jungles of South America on Wednesday to voice his support for Rush Limbaugh’s statements, particularly his recent ones about Eagle quarterback Donovan McNabb. Hitler, looking awfully spry for a 114 year old man, said that McNabb is overrated because he’s black, and that the African-American’s performance in the first two games of this season proved that Aryans constitute the superior race, with the possible exception of Keith Van Horn. Hitler says that he is a huge fan of Limbaugh’s. “It’s like he’s saying exactly what I’m thinking!” says Das Fuhrer.

Hitler also claims that George Bush is doing a wonderful job as president. “‘Preventative’ strikes, secretive prison camps, calling anyone who’s not a dyed in the wool patriot an ‘enemy’, it just tickles me pink!”

When asked of the secret of his longevity, Hitler said that his yearly visits to Saudi Arabia did him a lot of good. “Me and Idi Amin used to hang out at the ritziest palaces with the most beautiful women. That Saudi government, they paid for everything!”

Hitler said that his feelings toward McNabb were a little biased, because he is a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Jams do it again!

The Jams won at Frank Clements for the second straight week, crossing the 100 point threshold again. They barely overcame a spirited performance by Special Ed, who has finished in the money for three consecutive weeks with a 97. (One first and two seconds.) Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe finished third with a 95.