John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Abe Lincoln, had a brother who is considered to be the foremost Shakespearean actor of the 19th century.
Month: September 2003
Jams set Brain Attack Record
The Jams exploded for a record 103 points to set a new Johnny Goodtimes Brain Attack record on Tuesday. They did the impossible, scoring a perfect 55 in the Impossible Round. Defending Champs Special Ed Ed had the lead going into round four, but had to settle for second place with 92 points. The Broad Street Bullies, minus a couple of key players, were still able to grab third place after a slow start.
Eagles Lose to Schoolgirls!
Courtney Charnock scampers for a 36 yard gain in the second quarter.
PHILADELPHIA-In an effort to boost his team’s confidence before they take on the Buffalo Bills, Andy Reid scheduled a scrimmage game against the girls of Lovett Middle School. But the feisty squad from Chestnut Hill stymied the Eagle offense, and Courtney Charnock ran roughshod over a depleted Eagle defense, as the Pumpernickels from Lovett Middle knocked off the Birds, 27-9.
Charnock ran for 187 yards and the Pumpernickels intercepted Donovan McNabb six times.
“We thought a game against 14 year old girls would help build Donovan’s confidence, but it served to do just the opposite,” said a frustrated Andy Reid.
The lone bright spot for the Eagles came on the first play of the game. Correll Buckhalter took a handoff from McNabb and scooted 86 yards for a score. Reid promptly pulled Buckhalter from the game, and never put him back in.
“In hindsight, I guess we should have run Correll more,” said Reid.
Courtney Charnock ran for two TD’s and Cookie Mathers rumbled in for another. Sarah Whitehurst kicked two field goals. The Eagles only other points came on a safety when Britney Jackson ran the wrong way with the ball.
“I was confused,” said a smiling Jackson after the game.
Lovett Middle School coach Betty Isdell was overjoyed by her teams win. “I don’t even really understand the rules of football, so I was really surprised that I outcoached Andy Reid,” said Isdell.
The Eagles head to Buffalo to take on the Bills next Sunday. The Pumpernickels travel to New Hope next Wednesday to take on the Unicorns.
Comedy Show Every Monday
Johnny Goodtimes and friends Dan Goodman and Chip Chantry host a comedy show every Monday night at Finn McCools on the corner of 12th and Sansom. Catch the hottest comedians in Philadelphia each and every Monday. The best part about the show is that, amazingly, it’s free! McCool’s also offers $2 kamikaze shots during the show. This is the only free comedy show in Center City, and we only hire the funniest comedians in town, so be sure to check it out!
Cranking It Up
It was a record setting night at Nick’s Roast Beef as “Horse Cranks” set the Nick’s Roast Beef quizzo record and tied the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular record with an impressive 96 points. Bill & Mike finished 2nd with 84 points, defending champ “His Boy Elroy” finished a dissapointing 5th, with 70 points.
Will Horse Cranks be able to defend their title? Will their Ivy League ringer return? Will their parole officers pick them up before next Wednesday? Will “Special Ed Ed” accept the Horse Cranks challenge to show up in Old City? Only one way to find out. Show up next Wednesday for the next chapter in Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular history.
Johnny’s Bio
Johnny Goodtimes was born in Virginia (which is NOT the same as West Virginia), just like Thomas Jefferson and Moses Malone. In high school, Johnny played against Iverson in summer league b-ball, and rumor has it that Johnny shut him down. He received a PhD in Spermology (the study of trivia) from Quizzo A & M in 1997, and moved to Hawaii in 1998. In Hawaii, Johnny served as a dolphin trainer for a few years (seriously) before returning to the mainland. While training dolphins, Johnny learned two vital Japanese phrases. Sabadu sudu sudu (Touch softly, softly) and Iruka ha hachi chu hachi ha (The dolphin has eighty eight teeth). Goodtimes moved to Philly in October 2001. He began hosting Quizzo at Nick’s in August of 2002 after going to one and being bored to tears. The business expanded rapidly, and in October of 2004 his quizzo was named Philly’s Best by City Paper. Philly’s Quizmaster laureate occasionally does consultant work for a dolphin facility in Mexico. Johnny hates the Cowboys, eggplant, and Manyunk. Here’s a few other worthless facts about Johnny (And be sure to check out his MySpace Profile):
Favorite movies: Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure, Scent of a Woman
Favorite musicians: The Roots, Johnny Cash, and Nina Simone
Favorite comedians: Steve Martin, Bill Hicks, Dave Attell
Favorite disease: Scurvy
Favorite Presidents: William Henry Harrison (I’m a big fan of any politician who dies after a month in office), Grover Cleveland (Two non-consecutive terms; what’s not to like?)
Hottest actresses: Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Chambers
Least favorite movies: Zoolander, Twister
Least favorite musicians: Celine Dion, P. Diddy, all modern country music
Least favorite comedians: Marguaret Cho, Sinbad
Least favorite disease: Lumbago
Least favorite presidents: George W. Bush, George Bush, Sr.
Overrated actresses: Kirsten Dunst, Liv Tyler, Julia Roberts
Special Ed Ed Wins!
Special Ed Ed scored a perfect score through the first two rounds, and held off the Sealappers in round four, to win 96-92. The Broad Street Bullies struggled in the wild card round, and landed in third with 87. The defending champs Do We Get Cheated and How never got on track, finishing with 66.
“Do We Get Cheated & How” Win!
Known as “The Jose Mesas” in the quizzo world due to their late game breakdowns, Do We Get Cheated and How were finally able to rip the monkey from their backs in stirring fashion, holding off Ditech by one point, 95-94. The Broad Street Bullies, who are about as popular in Philadelphia as Andy Reid’s playcalling, had a seven point lead going into the final stanza, but uncharacteristically fell apart and scored only 30 in the fourth round.
“His Boy Elroy” the Winner at Nick’s
One man ?berstar romps at Nick’s Roast Beef. Don Seymour (His Boy Elroy)overcame a twelve point deficit in the final round to shock defending champ Fingerless Phrenology Limited, 83-80. Don was the only player to spell “sesqicentenary” correctly in the final round. Phrenology missed it by one letter, and thus lost the illustrious $50 gift certificate.
What we learned this week
Here are a few things that were learned this past week at quizzo:
Alaska contains the westernmost, northernmost, and easternmost points in the United States. (the Aleutian Islands wrap around the Earth, and are located in the Eastern Hemisphere, with a longitude farther east than Maine.)
The president on the 2nd largest bill in the U.S. is Ulysses S. Grant, who is on the $50.
Dr. Robert Morton fired a bullet into a corpse and was the first man to use an x-ray machine on a human body.
Elizabeth I was completely bald.