Johnny Goodtimes, no stranger to controversy, has been told by the JGT Ethics Committtee that this weeks questions will need to be tougher, since five teams broke the 100 point barrier last week. “That is unacceptable to an organization as proud and as historic as this one,” said Antowain Cadillac of the Committee. “We will not have Johnny sully the fine name of this organization. Therefore, if five or more teams score 100 or more points this week, Johnny will have to wear a pink tank top the next week with the words ‘I Suck’ emblazoned across the front.”

Just came across this article about how overrated running backs are, and thought it might be of interest to you football fans.

After a wonderful week spent with a lovely American girl, Johnny got greedy and spent the next two weeks going out with Mexican women, all to no avail. “I don’t know what the hell happened,” says Johnny, “But it was a disaster. One girl got mad when I tried to kiss her, one girl stood me up, and and with one girl, I think it was just a matter of miscommunication, and we only went out once.” Johnny refused to talk any more about this so called “miscommunication”. As for the job, the last week was a bit stressful, as the staff and the animals at the final facility were overworked. Johnny’s Spanish improved quite a bit during the time there, but apparently not enough. “I didn’t take any days off, but I did get to go scuba diving in a pretty kool underwater cave,” said Goodtimes. Other than that, Johnny’s week at Cozumel was rather quiet. “I went out with this one Mexican girl twice, and we were supposed to go out again on Friday night, but she stood me up.” When asked if maybe he was a bad kisser, and that was part of the problem, Johnny responded, “I’m not sure. I’ve never kissed myself. Well, there was that one time, but that was an accident.” Johnny returns to action at O’Neals and The Bards tonight.