MJ from the Real World was punched in the face at a bar in West Chester over the weekend. Police said it was unprovoked, which proves that the police never saw Real World Philadelphia. I would be a lot happier if they had punched Landon. Keep in mind that a few weeks ago, MJ said “F*** Philly. I hate Philly.” Damnit, now he’s going to hate West Chester, too.
This should kill your case of the Mondays
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Just check out the magic that is possible with a simple web cam…and a dream. While we’re at that website, why don’t we take a look at a list of children’s books that never really took off.
I mean seriously…
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Does ANYONE give a s***? Are you kidding me? A THREE PART SERIES By the Inky about deer in the suburbs!!! I mean, did somebody at a staff meeting go, “Hey, I saw a short piece in the Bumf*** Times about deer in people’s yards. Whattya say we go a step further and do a three part series on it?” Elephants rampaging through a restaurant in South Korea? Great news story. Deer loitering in people’s yards in Lower Merion? Not so great.
E-Mail Madness
There is a new scourge destroying the minds of America’s youth: e-mail. According to a new study, it is much worse for your IQ than smoking the reefer. i would write more, but I just sent out a bunch of e-mails, and now I’m just dying for some Cheetos and ice cream.
No way, this is too crazy
I’m sure there is a simple mathematical explanation for how this works, but I sure haven’t figured it out. Mind reading online.
Who killed the Red Baron?
On this day in 1918, the Red Baron was finally shot down. But the identity of his killer has been the subject of much debate. Here is a page that explores the controversy. Pretty interesting.
Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes Update
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Alright, gang, time is running out to sign up to be the next Johnny Goodtimes. You must send me an email by Friday if you are interested. I have had lots of people express interest, but thus far only six have officially signed up. If you do not see your name here, it means that I have not received an e-mail from you expressing your interest.
Pete M.
Jen O.
Marvin S.
Robert S.
Dan P.
Shawn R.
If you are unaware, the “Be the Next Johnny Goodtimes” Contest is being held throughout the month of May to determine who will be in charge of quizzo at the Dark Horse (421 South 2nd Street) throughout the summer. The winner gets $50 a gig and the invaluable resume-builder that comes with working for an outfit as universally respected as Johnny Goodtimes, Amalgamated.
Josh’s car found
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Josh, Where’s Your Car won at the Good Doctor’s on Monday night, but their joy was short-lived, as Josh’s car was found Tuesday morning-at the bottom of the Delaware river! Attempts to salvage the car from the river were nothing short of disastrous, as these photos can attest.
Did You Know…
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The cliche “heads will roll” comes to us from Hitler? In 1930, he said that if the Nazi movement was victorious, their would be a tribunal to punish those who offered Germany’s surrender in WWI. “Then decapitated heads will roll in the sand.” (This from the Dictionary of Cliches, of which I am a proud owner.) Oh, and here’s a funny short music video featuring Hitler.
Pope Stuff
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The big question as we prepare for our new pope is this: what will be his stand on breakdancing? We all know how our boy Johnny Paul felt about it. He loved it, and here’s the video to prove it. And here’s a decent pope joke.