We’ve all heard this sentiment expressed dozens of times before: “Johnny Goodtimes? Please girl, I wouldn’t date him unless it was for charity.” Well, guess what, ladies (and Apolo Ohno), now it is! That’s right, the Urban Blazers, an organization we raised money for last year , is having a fundraiser auction this Thursday at the Irish Pub (1123 Walnut), and you can bid on a date with me (or you can bid on other people, and yes guys, there will be dates with females being auctioned off as well). It’ll be a Happy Hour from 6-9 with drink specials and free appetizers. They are asking for a $10 donation at the door, with all proceeds going to the charity. Finally, a chance to go out with a guy like me and not feel terrible about yourself in the morning!
Question of the Week
The day Johnny was born, February 3rd, is also known as the day the music died, as Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper all died in a plane crash on that date in 1959. What was the Big Bopper’s real name?
JGT Will Not Be Doing You Know What You Know Where
Rumors that Johnny will be performing a certain type of music at a certain event that may or may not be taking place this Saturday are patently false. “Oh, here we go again,” said a visibly dismayed Goodtimes. “Why is it that people can’t come to grips with the fact that that part of my career is over. Was it fun kicking it with Slick Rick? Was it great to get to date Eve for a short while? Of course. But those days are over. I turn 32 on Saturday. That’s like 100 in rap years. It’s over people. Deal with it. And move on.”
Wow
You know it’s a rough time in Philly sports when the lead story in the Inky sports section is about ice skater Johnny Weir. Yes, that Johnny Weir, the one who makes Liberace look like John Wayne. I mean, if you guys are gonna do a story about winter sports, do one about Apolo Anton Ohno (above). He is dreamy. What? Oh, like the sight of Apolo Anton Ohno’s gorgeous mane doesn’t bump you up to a 2.5 on the Kinsey scale. Puh-leeez.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Tonight
Hey peeps, one of the greatest films, uh, like ever is showing tonight at the Trocadero. It’s the back end of back to back Jack, as we are showing the film that won the Academy Award for the year I was born, One Flew Over the Cockoos Nest. If you have not seen this movie, it is an absolute must see. If you have seen this movie, well you ain’t seen it on the big screen, so tonight’s the night. See ya there at 7:30 p.m. for the Wheel of Terrific!
Jams Win, show off title belt
Orrin Hatch.
Dork Sided Wins
Chuck Hagel.
Name that Senator
Alright, I’m gonna post photos of this weeks winners and post a senators name under it. You tell me what state they represent. One guess per person. No cheating.
The Week In Review
We start on Monday, with the showing of The Shining. I thought the Wheel was going to be a disaster, since people attending a horror movie usually aren’t in the best frame of mind to laugh out loud. But the crowd dug it. The best game was probably “Snowy Labyrinth of Death,” in which a woman had to make her way out a labyrinth that consisted of three boxes before she froze to death. She did. The movie was awesome. At one point, I wandered downstairs and watched it by myself in the main ballroom for a few minutes, with an empty old bar behind me. Creepy.
Tuesday saw a blowout at O’Neals, as Dork Sided cruised to a 107-91 win over the Young the Old and the Restless. The Dorks only missed one question in the final two rounds, acing the popular “Wacky TV Neighbors Round”. (The only question they missed, “What team did the Bears beat 73-0 in the 1940 championship game?” The answer is the Redskins. Early in that game, with the Bears only up 7-0, a Redskin receiver dropped a pass in the end zone. After the game, Redskin QB Sammy Baugh was asked if that play had made a major difference in the game. He said, “Yeah, that would have made it 73-7.”)
What Worries Me is How Your Mother Is Going to Take this
Yo peeps, gotta do a photo shoot for the City Paper, so I’m not gonna have time right now for Week in Review. Will get to work on it asap. Thanks for your patience. In the meantime, a quick reminder: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest , one of the greatest films of all time, will be playing Monday, and I will be celebrating my B-Day then, so I want you guys to show up. It’s gonna be fun.