
This is it peeps! For months, you refused to watch this train wreck of a game show. And then, before you had a chance to see what everyone was talking about (in a negative fashion), it went off the air. But now, thanks to the miracle of modern space flight, the Wheel of Terrific will be reappearing at the Khyber for one time only! That’s right, it will be either A) really funny or B) extremely unfunny, in which case you get to see JGT fall on his face. YOU WIN EITHER WAY! Also, the Die Actor Die show will feature comedians John Kensil and Sean Curran, as will Rowan and Hastings, best known for their “My Favorite Bears” rap (moderately unsafe for work. A few cuss words.) And there will be another deconstruction of a 80s music video. It’s at the Khyber tonight at 8 p.m., and only costs $5. In addition, there will be $1 PBRs, $2 Lagers, and $2 Dead Actors. This is gonna be a great show. Hope to see you there!
RELATED: Die Actor Die website.
The Weekend

Damn good weekend. I ended up saying the hell with Intercourse, and staying right here in Philly. And the Italian Market Festival was well worth staying in town for. Great music, great food, great times. Besides, there is a decent chance that Philly will be having its own RubeFest this year anyway, so why go all the way to Intercourse? Black Landlord (above) rocked the house on Saturday, and I made my way to Friendly Lounge for a drink as well. The Friendly Lounge that Esquire Magazine recently named one of the Top 50 bars in America. Um, yeah. The owner was friendly, for sure, but even he had no idea in hell why they made that list.
The Phillies took two of three this weekend. Guess which game I made it to? Yeah, if you guessed the 13-2 loss give yourself a high five. The highlight of the game came just before the 8th inning when “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” came on the jukebox and Chill Rob A said, in dead seriousness, “Aw man, I love this song!” It was a group of 7 guys out for the game, so needless to say that the only person who caught more ribbing than Clay Condrey that night was Chill Rob. I told him that I was gonna find the people in charge of the music and make a request for, “I Think We’re Alone Now.”
Back to the Market on Sunday, then off to negotiations for RubeFest. Waiting to hear back. If City Hall cooperates, this is gonna be one hell of a festival.
Carter Settles Down

After calling Bush the worst president in history, Jimmy Carter backed down a little bit on Monday, and said that Bush was just worse than Nixon. Which is another way of saying that he is the worst President ever. Or is Bush less like NIxon and more like another president, and will be vindicated by time?
Bella Napoli Pizza

Last week, I went out to Bella Napoli Pizza (1524 Shunk) in South Philly with Kayla. Pizza originated in Naples, so I figured we should give this place a shot. They had a ton of choices, and I think we went a little overboard with our choices. Here was her take:
Bella Napoli should be considered a take-out place only, as it consists entirely of a pizza kitchen and a single table. Said table was occupied when Johnny and I walked in, presumably by the owner and friend, since our momentary urge to flee was squelched by these gentlemen immediately getting up to offer us the table.
Bella has an extensive list of specialty pizzas, and it took us a while to settle on half-white/goat cheese/red pepper/pesto and half-red/broccoli rabe/red pepper/spinach/garlic. I thought they were pretty accomodating to let us do half-and-half. While we were waiting, the owner kept coming over to bring us every condiment he could possibly find, which I thought it was kinda sweet.
The pizza had a good crust, crispy on the outside but doughy enough that you don’t feel like you’re eating cardboard. Both halves tasted pretty decent, but the amount of grease was overwhelming, and it was getting pretty soggy towards the end. I thought the white side was better, and we both agreed that the vegetables on the red side overpowered the sauce to much to be able to comment on it. Sadly, they did not have fountain soda, just cans and 2 liters. Overall, I’d give it a 2.5 out of 5 due to grease and lack of atmosphere. If I were to eat Bella pizza again, I’d just take it home and mop it off first.
While this is definitely a takeout place, I think a lot of what she called “grease” was just liquid from the tons of toppings we had ordered. I would wanna try the place again with a little simpler pizza, though I think that Kayla is right in that this is a takeout joint, not a sit down place. But they do have lots of intriguing choices for pizza, and I might consider it again. Give it a three.

Jams Win

San Jose
Dork Sided Wins at Oneals
Last weeks winners
Alright, I’m gonna post the winners of last weeks quizzo, and am gonna post a world capital underneath them. You write down the country. One guess per person.
A Wild, Wild Week in Review

Wow, one of the weirdest, wildest weeks in recent quizzo history. We start on Monday, when 8 other cities across the country dared to compete against us in a battle of brains. By the time it was done, Philadelphia reigned supreme, taking 5 of the top 7 spots (with Sofa Kingdom finishing first) and firmly establishing itself as the Quizzo Capital of North America.
O’Neals, however, did not fair so well at the Smackdown. It had 3 teams representing, but Badger Tsunami, the Young the Old and the Restless, and Dork Sided finished 7th, 9th, and 10th, respectively, out of 11 teams. So it was only fitting that Dork Sided, who finished 62 points behind the Kingdom on Monday, would come back with a vengeance on Tuesday and score higher than the Kingdom would later that night with the same questions. The Dorks knocked off Lick My Nutters, 103-98.
On Monday, the Sofa Kingdom won $800 at Rembrandt’s (23rd and Aspen, where the Philly portion of City vs. City Smackdown took place). On Tuesday, Rembrandt cost them a win at the Bards. They led going into the final question, but missed, “Who painted the Anatomy Lesson of Dr Nicolas Culp as well as the Prodigal Son of the Tavern, both in the 17th Century?” The answer was Rembrandt, the Axis of Evil Knieval got it right, and walked away with an impressive 99-98 victory over the Kingdom.
Things returned to normal at the Rendezvous, as the Jams (aka Now That Falwell’s Dead, Tinky Winky can Come Out of the Closet) knocked off Jan and Dean Need $30, 90-83. $30 cash on the line against next week to anyone who can knock off the Jams (plus the $25 gift certificate.)
An upset at the Black Sheep, as CATDOG finally got over the proverbial hump and held off the Satan’s Minions and Rum Dog, 90-88-88. Congratulations, Catdoggers! Defending Champs Duane’s World finished with an 84. Strictly Prohibited had the lead going into the final round, then tanked hard and finished with 73.
Onto the Good Dog, where MAGMA and the 2 1/2 Armenians continued was has to be, with no debate, one of the worst rivalries in sports history. On weeks when the 2 1/2 Armenians show up, MAGMA doesn’t, and on other weeks Armenian warlord Steve O just comes by himself and teams up with MAGMA. Such was the case on Thursday,and the results were fairly predictable. The MAGMenians quashed We’re Getting Quashed, 110-69, which I’m pretty sure is the biggest margin of victory ever. To put it in perspective, MAGMA could have missed the first 8 questions of Round Four and still won.
Round four questions must have been a little too easy on Thursday, as two teams at the Bards aced the final round (MAGMA aced it at at the Dawg). But the Kingdom outplayed Nutter? I Hardly Knew Her in the speed round and that would prove to be the difference, as they won 112-107. Chucks Bike-O-Rama had the lead going into the final round, but had to settle for 3rd with 99.
Holy Freaking cow! ANother kickass festival this weekend!

Dude, this is the craziest weekend ever (until Rubefest, hopefully in early June). In addition to the Rittenhouse Jam Session and the Italian Market Festival, the Trenton Ave. Art Festival in Fishtown is going to be happening on Saturday. This includes a Kinetic Sculpture Race, which is when people make a tricycle look like a giant turkey and then race. Plus, the Phils are gonna sweep the Blue Jays and move over .500. Who needs Intercourse?
UPDATE: It’s supposed to rain all freaking weekend. Aaaarg!
Music in the Park on Saturday

There is gonna be a musical protest in Rittenhouse Park on Saturday at 1 p.m. Musicians will be playing, at least until Philly’s finest show up and take them to jail, where this riff-raff belongs.
RELATED: JGT goes off on lack of tunes in Rittenhouse.

