Michelle Malkin Hit By Train, America Rejoices

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In a rare event that brought all Americans together, Michelle Malkin was hit by a train today. The neocon commentator, who earlier this week said that Dunkin Donuts ads gave comfort to the enemy, was hit by the train only moments after this picture was taken by me.

“I asked her to move a little to the left, a little to the left, a little to the left, and next thing you know, she got hit by that train,” I said. “This has really been a tragic accident. I feel awful. Well, not awful, but I don’t feel good about causing Michelle Malkin to get hit by that fast-moving train. Well, at least I don’t feel GREAT about it.”

Malkin, who is actually an evil racist robot, suffered severe circuitry damage. “We don’t know if we can save her, after she got hit by that train,” said Malkin creator David Duke.

Ticker tape parades were being scheduled in several major cities, with Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter proclaiming, “This is a great day for America. It is nice to know that, as of today, there is one less evil racist robot in the world, thanks to that fast-moving train.”

Condolences for the racist, whiny, snivelling, squawking robot were non-existent.

Major Pet Peeve

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I was just sitting here, with CNN on in the other room, and the news woman said, “Houston we have a problem…with the plumbing.” Something about the space shuttle, but who cares. The point is that “Houston we have a problem” is the hackiest, lamest cliche ever, and I see and hear it constantly. Just watch, the next time the Phils play the Astros, if we lose, the Inquirers headine will read, “Houston, We Have a Problem.” This drives me insane. I swear, people (especially newscasters and newspapers) use this line all the time and it makes me nutty. It’s not funny, it’s not original, it’s just stupid. What tv and newspaper cliches get you angry?

Larry Craig Bobblefoot Day

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The Saint Paul Saints, a minor league baseball team I read about recently in an excellent book called Slouching Toward Fargo, had a special promotion last week in honor of National Tap Dance Day. It was bobblefoot day, a not so subtle reference to something that happened at the nearby Minneapolis airport. The team said that the it was a “tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes.” This is not to be confused with the Larry Craig Action figure.