The Slow Gin Quiz was able to knock off Always a Quizzo Bridesmaid with a steady if unspectacular 79-72 win. The team, which is rather accustomed to finishing last, got off to a quick lead and held on in round four. There is a time change this coming week: Watson’s will begin at 8:15 p.m. For teams that might be more clever than smart: Doc Watson’s is the only Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo that offers a gift certificate for best team name.

Us Again was able to sweep past the field at Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday, which earned them a sweeping endorsement from Pete Rose. “Hey, these guys are winners. Will they repeat next week? Well, let’s just say that’s where I’ve got my money.”

The Broad Street Bullies were able to pull off another victory on Tuesday by answering the weekly double question correctly and squeak past the Jams. I’m not sure what place the girls below finished but hey, let’s face it, who the hell cares. When they play, we all win.

Rochelle Rochelle was able to leave Aiken for Clay in the dust in Round number Four and take the cake at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Aiken for Clay left their namesake disappointed. “I guess we’re losers, just like Clay,” said Randolph Hernmeister of the Aikens. “It was nice of Clay to come and support us,” said team member Chelsea Clockwise, “And I felt bad that the owner of the bar made him watch from outdoors, on account of Clay being such a loser.”

Oblivia Dehaviland was able to hold on and win a squeaker at the Centre Square Bar and Grille. After the game, Johnny was quoted as saying, “I never doubted this team’s mental capabilities, but after naming the team after a 1940’s supporting actress, I do have some questions about their sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

The Troy McClures were a handful on Monday at Doc Watson’s Pub, but father figure Dick Van Patten was able to get the team to buckle down in round four and run away with an 82-68 victory. “It was nice to have Dick there,” said team captain Dr. Chuckie Needlebump. “I’m just sorry that Adam Rich (Nicholas) couldn’t make it.”

Frank Clement’s North pulled away in round four at Centre Square Bar and Grille at Bedford Falls on Tuesday, and cruised to a victory over Dewey Cheatum and Howe. The team, which has been ravaged by injuries in the past few months, was finally able to get their whole squad on the field.

Professor Flapjack defeated the much maligned Team Hater, 100-89 on Monday at Doc Watson’s. The articles on the website kind of suck this week, but that’s because I’ve hit the sauce pretty heavily over the holidays. I really need to pull it together.

The Nation of Quizlam was able to hold off the competition at Nick’s on Wednesday, then asked that their picture not be doctored, so as not to take away from their lovely faces. This same squad also complained about their photo with N.W.A. a couple of weeks ago. Anyone who has a message for this narcissistic group of also-rans and ne’er-do-wellers, please feel free to click on “comments” at the bottom of this article. In more exciting news, Santa made a brief appearance, keeping an eye on his ho-ho-hos. (Photo below)

The Four Letter Words, a collection of some of the most brilliant legal minds in the city, got an added boost on Tuesday with the addition of Johnny Cochran, who led them to a victory over Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe, 98-90. Cochran was overjoyed after the win. “I thought this win was splendiferous for the amalgamation of conglomerates we have assembelized. The victory was not only monumentous, it was consequentially extemperaneous.” The others agreed.