Goodtimes’ Groupies were able to pull away in the final round to knock off the Bastard Children of Claire Huxtable, 93-88, at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Groupies are just a fact of life for the master quizzologist. “Yeah, they’re everywhere,” says Goodtimes. “A lot of people think that my life is just a continuous cycle of sex, drugs, and quizzo. They’re right.”**

**Johnny would like to remind kids to stay away from drugs, or they too may wind up photoshopping hot groupies onto their websites and pretending like they’re big time celebrities who score a lot of tail.

What King was known as “Longshanks”? (I’ll need a name and #, for example
Henry VIII)

Satan, sensing a chill, shot up from bed on Wednesday night and ran to his window. “When I saw snow falling,” said the King of the Underworld, “I knew that somehow, the Nation of Quizlam had avoided choking in Quizzo.” The Nation of Quizlam has always been expected to choke in the fourth round. But this week they avoided a meltdown and won handily, and Beelzebub was left out in the cold. “PGW better not start thinking they can bend me over a counter like they do Johnny Goodtimes when it’s freezing in Philly. I’m Satan, b****!”

What’s the only b-ball team to win both the NIT and the NCAA basketball tournament in the same year?

Don’t call it a comeback. Screwed the Pooch came from 12 points down in the final round to knock off the Nation of Quizlam at Nick’s Roast Beef by 13 points. Sadly the Nation, who had the double digit lead heading hit into the final stanza, hit an iceberg midway through the fourth round. The disaster was so dramatic, so amazing, that Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet have already been signed to do a really awful movie about it.

Despite dealing with an injury to Dwayne, who fell off his skateboard in the opening credits, the team of Dwayne, Rerun, Rog, and Shirley were able to pull away in round four at Doc Watson’s Quizzo on Monday. The Quizard of Oz finished second. Later it was discovered that the team had been grounded and shouldn’t have been out at all, something which came to light when Dee showed up. “Ooooh, I’m gonna tell mama!” she stated before storming out the door.

In a surprise decision, the NCAA ceded to the demands of Johnny Goodtimes and rescheduled the St. Joe’s game on Thursday night. With the game scheduled for 7:30 p.m., officials were contacted by Goodtimes, who had a quizzo scheduled for 8 at the Good Dog. “It was one of those things where you make adjustments just to stay on the right side of a megastar like Goodtimes,” said NCAA president Myles Brand. “We piss him off, and the next thing you know, nobody’s watching this little tournament of ours.” The game was moved to 9:50 p.m., just when quizzo should be ending.

In 1932, Actress Peg Entwistle committed suicide by jumping off of what?

Due to camera problems experienced this week, I do not have pics of the winners. However, I did my best to keep the fans happy. Everything will be back up and running by next week.

The Quizaholics Anonymous won at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, squeaking past Your Mom’s On Tap, 102-97. One of the first round round questions was, “What Hollywood superstar doesn’t have time for relationships, so she just has sex in hotel rooms with her friends? Answer: Angelina Jolie. Which brings up this point: If anyone sees or talks with Angelina in the next few weeks, please tell her I’m a great listener, a good shoulder to cry on, and I have no problem keeping secrets.