As if winning six Oscar’s wasn’t enough, “Chicago” took it’s show on the road and won big at Nick’s on Wednesday. But not everyone was pleased. “Richard Gere sucks,” said Joe the bartender, “And I better not see him in here again.”

What? Do you really think I forgot the team’s name that won at Doc Watson’s on Monday? That’s ridiculous! Are you kidding me? What? Oh, like I’m going to try to distract you from the facts by showing a picture of my favorite hairdo ever! I took that photo at the Phillies game Thursday! Isn’t it great! Seriously, that guy was sitting right behind me.

What now famous performer spent three years at San Quentin for committing a robbery in 1957?

What was the name of the hotel in the Shining?

What was the name of Underdog’s girlfriend?

There will be quizzo over the next two weeks, hosted by two of Johnny’s cousins. Here’s the line-up.

Monday: Doc Watson’s hosted by Benny Pleasurable Experiences 8:30 p.m.
Tuesday: O’Neals hosted by P.D. Hardtimes 8:00 p.m.
Wednesday: Locust Rendezvous by P.D. 6:15 p.m.
Thursday: Good Dog hosted by Benny 8:00 p.m.

By the way, the picture at the top is the Mona Lisa made entirely of burnt toast. I am hoping to keep a journal of my trip on the website. We’ll see what kind of internet access I get down there. Check back. I’ll try to send back as many photos of hot chicks back as I can. And for all you ladies, I’ll be sending back pics of me in a bathing suit, with a tan photoshopped in. By the way, there will only be one set of questions a week, so you’ll have to limit yourselves to one quizzo a week until I get back. Sorry, but I’m not going to spend my whole vacation coming up with questions about vice-presidents in the 1820’s.

The Blind Squirrels Won at Nick’s Roast Beef, but soon came under fire when it was reported that they were the ringleaders behind last weeks vicious squirrel attack at the Bards. Though the team has denied the allegations, Jim Gardner recently reported that the majority of the Allentown Flying Squirrels are blind, and that the team is currently being held for questioning. Gardner went on to say that this is the most ridiculous story he has ever been a part of, and he thinks Johnny is really just beating a dead horse with this flying squirrel thing.

In what many are considering the biggest upset since the Revolutionary War, Like a Prayer…Shawl? knocked off Getting Into the Paris Hilton and the defending champs Thru Rain, Sleet, or Quizzo at Doc Watson’s on Monday. When reached for comment, Revolutionary War leader George Washington said, “Yeah, beating the redcoats was pretty shocking, but I never thought I’d live to see the day when a team that included Frank Dombrowski and Jeff “Slick” Savage won anything besides Naked Chick Photohunt on the Megatouch.”

After an exhaustive search, Johnny was able to find the results of a contest which took place in March of 1923 at Doc’s Speakeasy (Now known as Doc Watson’s Pub). The winners were The Bastart Children of Claire Huxtable, a surprising team name considering that “The Cosby Show” would not debut for another 61 years.

Goodtimes Groupies became the first team to ever win two different quizzos in one week, as they utilized the strength of The Rock to knock off Bombs Over Baghdad, 96-86.. “Yeah, it was kool to have the Rock on our side,” said Groupie Toby Witherspoon, “But I really didn’t think he had any reason to hit that guy on the second place team over the head with the 2×4.”