I guess most of you have heard by now that Philly is hosting it’s beer week on March 7-March 16. Ginger will be by as we get closer with more details. There is talk of a quizzo event as part of it. I will keep you updated. But in the meantime, I just thought you might want to check out the specifics. I would link you to the write up by Joe Sixpack on today’s Philly.com, but I try to avoid linking to things that have little images that pop up in front of the words trying to sell you stuff. It drives me crazy. However, here’s a nice little quote about beer from Cliff Clavin:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

It’s currently on the TV. I had forgotten how many classic lines were in this movie:

Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a’ somethin’ went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, “Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?” Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside.

Ed McDonnough: You mean you busted out of jail.
Evelle: No, ma’am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
Gale: What my brother here means to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.

Evelle: These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no… unless round is funny.

Cellmate: …and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
H.I.: You ate what?
Cellmate: We ate sand.

This week, the wild card round was annoying songs (i’ve posted it below in written form). Now it’s your turn. What are the most annoying songs ever, the ones that get in your head and won’t get out? Post below.

1. Before becoming a one hit wonder in 2000, this artist was a member of the group Dru Hill.

2. Who originally recorded the song Macarena?

3. Who had a hit with the song Barbie Girl?

4. Who had a hit with the song Mambo Number 5?

5. Who let the Dogs Out?

6. Who had a hit with the song, It’s Raining Men?

7. What rapper recorded quite possibly the worst rap ever, Get Low?

8. Who had a hit with the song, What if God Was One of Us?

9. What song included the lines:
So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

10. Who sang the annoying yet awesome song, Mr. Roboto?

Continue reading “What’s the Most Annoying Song Ever?” →

Those of you who have followed this site for a short while know about my high school buddy Willie Gee. He’s the guy who has been fired from over 25 jobs (if you have never read this, it is required reading!), and he’s a huge fan of Michael Vick. Well, I interviewed him over my Christmas break, and here is the first part of that interview (later, he will discuss his work history in further detail). A short, 3 minute piece where he discusses drinking his own urine while in high school…and having no regrets about it.

We’re getting ready to start our YMCA basketball league back up and I need volunteer coaches. If you are available on Thursdays and Fridays from 5-7 p.m. and are willing to coach kids 9-12 years old, please let me know. Thanks!

At the Black Sheep this past Wednesday, a new record was set for the lowest score ever. The previous record 9, had been set a couple of years ago at the Bards, and seemed unbreakable. But all records are made to be broken, and on Wednesday night the young ladies above, Creme de Menthe (with their last place prize, a Neil Sedaka record), were more than up to the task. They got 0 in the first round, got two right in round two, then missed the final 25 questions to finish with a 4. Congratulations, ladies!

This weeks topic is “Crying”, in honor of our good friend TO. Post an answer under the pic. One guess per person.

Here’s the wild card round from last night’s quizzo. I tell you the burger, you tell me where it came from. All of these are chains and more or less all are fast food. Answers after the jump.

1. Slyders
2. Bacon Cheeseburger Toaster
3. Big Buford
4. Monster Thickburger
5. Sourdough Jack
6. Big N’ Tasty with Cheese
7. The Stacker
8. Route 66
9. Stack Attack
10. Double Double

Continue reading ““Where’d You Get That Hamburger?” Round” →

I don’t know what it is about the holidays and me almost fighting steakheads, but it happened again on New Years Eve. The scenario: I’m at a party in the Art Museum area on the first floor, which has a small outdoor area, one just big enough for a beer pong table. Most of the people at said party are in their late 20s, early 30s. There is also a party going on on the third floor, where most of the partyers are hovering around 21 years old. Well, the upstairs had an ice luge (a block of ice that you can pour shots of liquor down) on their outdoors deck, so some of the first floor revelers made a dash upstairs and began drinking from this luge. Apparently the youngsters weren’t so keen on this behavior. But they seemed pretty friendly overall, and the two sides seemed to get along fine. Then, at around 3 a.m., a young lady and myself were playing another mixed duo at beer pong. Suddenly something dropped from the heavens and went splat on the beer pong table. I looked ahead. It was a jello shot dropped from the third floor balcony. No big deal. We continued to play, but about thirty seconds later a loud crash on the table. Some idiot had thrown a beer bottle. I looked ahead at my male opponent, who we’ll call Nitro, and said, “Let’s roll.” We dashed up the stairs and blasted into the party completely agged out (and, I must admit, a little bit out of breath. I drank a lot of eggnog over the holidays). “What the f***!!!!!” we screamed in unison.

Continue reading “JGT Almost gets in a Fight on New Years Eve” →

In answer to the Round Four question, “What group, supported by Allen Ginsberg, advocates legalized sexual relationships between adult males and underaged boys?” one contestant at the Bards shouted out, “The Catholic Church.” (The correct answer was NAMBLA.)