Swung by the Mojito Olympics at Rum Bar at 6 p.m. last night, where Trivia Art was a judge. I’m not gonna lie. I really had limited interest in watching people muddle mint, I just wanted a free Mojito. Hung there for about an hour, then headed over to the Khyber for the Dirtiest Sketch Competition. I’ll be honest, it was extremely disturbing. Beyond tasteless. (If you want to see the one that NOT SAFE FOR WORK! won, go here and scroll down. Please be warned, it is extremely disturbing and not at all safe for work. Seriously.)The sketches were pretty insane (my favorite was a bad 1950s B-Movie spoof, complete with terrible acting and a sex crazed robot), and it was also great to hang out with Philly legends Scott Johnston and the Legendary WID. The WID had a anti-theft device on his bike that was revolutionary. It consisted of 1) a rope and 2) that’s it, just a rope. His bike was not stolen. Had the Brooklyn Summer Ale, btw, which was delicious. And even got home at a reasonable hour.

Dunno if you’ve seen this, but it’s pretty good. The guy who did it, Jon Lajoie, also came out with a part two. Thanks to Erin for sending this in. If you’ve got something that might be good to post on the site, holla atcha boy.

Did a write up on Kerri-Lee’s blog about Friday the 13th. Today is also the day that the new M. Night movie “The Happening” comes out. Unfortunately, the reviews haven’t been so great.

Current headline on philly.com: The way to your Father’s heart may well be through a steak knife. (Thanks to Todd for making me aware of this.)

It was on this date in 1962 that the only succesful escape from Alcatraz ever took place. By successful, of course, I mean that they actually got out of the prison. It is believed that they died while in the bay, though a few years ago MythBusters recreated the escape, and were able to do so. Each and every year, in honor of the escape, there is an Escape From Alcatraz triathlon in San Fran that includes a swim in the San Francisco Bay (which is currently a brisk 56 degrees.)

Spike Lee went after Clint Eastwood this past week for not having any black people in his two movies about Iwo Jima. Of course, the first film was about the 6 soldiers who raised the flag (none of whom were black) and the 2nd movie was about Japanese soldiers who fought at Iwo Jima (Spike might be surprised to discover that very few Japanese soldiers were black). Is Spike also upset at Steven Spielberg for not using enough black actors in Schindler’s List? While the lack of roles for black actors is troubling, it is kind of moronic of Lee to go after the guy who directed Bird, about Charlie Parker, and who is currently doing a movie about Nelson Mandela (as Eastwood himself said, “I’m not going to make Nelson Mandela a white guy”).

After Eastwood answered back to Lee’s salvos, and told Lee to shut his face, Lee said, “First of all, the man’s not my father and we’re not on a plantation either.” Needle scratches record. To go with Godwin’s Law, there should be a Spike Lee law, that every argument with Spike Lee will come to a screeching halt when Lee accuses his opponent of being a modern day slaveholder. And just to show what a classy guy he is, Spike ended his tirade with:“Even though he’s trying to have a Dirty Harry flashback, I’m going to take the Obama high road and end it right here. Peace and love.” Wow, comparing him to a modern day slaveholder and then ending the argument on his terms. What a creep.

SeeqPod – Playable Search
A few weeks ago, I did my top songs about the rain. Well, now all anyone can think about is the heat. Qualifications for these songs were rather strict: They had to actually be about temperature, not about a hot girl (eliminating songs such as Hotter than Hell by Kiss and Hot Child in the City by whoever the hell did that song), about how hot a person finds themselves (This is Why I’m Hot), or about an indistinguishable “it” whose origins we are unsure of (Drop It Like It’s Hot). OK, so Hot Stuff about Donna Summer isn’t really about the temperature but she got a pass because she her name has the word “Summer” in it. And I guess Heat Wave is technically about love, but there was no way that song wasn’t making the list. Let me know if I missed anything:

Had another private party at the Black Sheep on Saturday. This time it was a birthday party for Leslie Greenspan, and a fine time was had by all. Her team Crownespan, finished 4th, as The Sydney Pollack Mungers Finished First, edging the Figgles 111-110. Wuerffel’s Disciples finished 3rd. (I think there were a fair amount of Florida Alums there. I would like to point those Florida alums in the direction of this photograph. And this one. And also this one. Anyone see a pattern here?) Anyways, Johnny does corporate parties, birthdays, weddings, Super Sweet 16s, and bankruptcy proceedings. And he promises to give you 100% or more of what you deserve.

Congratulations to Team 4, the team that won at the private quiz held for the Pepper Hamilton Law Firm at the Boathouse Bar last Thursday. At least, I think it was Team 4. I can’t find the damn scoresheets. Cats musta ate ’em. Anyways, real lawyers seem to know their tv lawyers, as was evidenced by the wild card round. If anyone is interested in having Philly’s best quizmaster host a private event, please feel free to contact me.

To be honest, this whole Bonnie and Clyde thing is a sad indication of what happens when newspapers and TV become desperate for revenue. They latch on to any story about a hot 22 year old with a nice rack. Gone are the days of trying to win a Pulitzer by trying to find out how all of these drugs are getting into our neighborhoods or why our murder rate is so high. Now it’s just “Throw some pics of a chick with nice hooters on the site every day and see if we can get a few extra web clicks.” This ain’t murder. It’s identity theft, which nobody gives a flying s*** about. Trust me, I know.

I had somebody steal my checkbook about 5 years ago and write a $938 check to Dorney Park (seriously), among other things. The person who stole my checkbook was able to pass themself off as Jerome, even though they were a woman. A woman with apparently about 35 kids, all of whom she took to Dorney Park (who, incredulously, took a personal check). And where was the media then? I was in my time of need, filling out affidavit after affidavit. And there was no news truck anywhere in sight. Now that the news teams at all of the local TV and newspapers are experts on identity theft, I want them to do some research and see if they can find out who this damn woman was, so I can get my identity back. So that I can have my fun at Dorney Park! But I doubt they will. After all, rumor has it that a girl with a great ass just stole a Snickers bar from a 7-11. And Chopper 10 is there!