Alright kids, it’s about that time again. We’re starting up our basketball league at the Marian Anderson Center (17th and Catherine), and we’re going to continue our tutoring program, which was a pretty big success this past year, culminating in an awesome summer program.

TUTORS: you will be needed on Saturdays from 11-12 a.m., where you will be working with small groups of kids. I am looking primarily for math and english people. The program will run from October 25th to December 13th, with us taking off the weekend after Thanksgiving. You are expected to show up for each of those days and simply cannot miss more than one, since the same group of kids will be depending on you each week. Please do not volunteer if you cannot follow through! I don’t want to be a jerk about this, but it is a responsibility and not showing up because you’re hungover, tired, want to go hiking, etc. does more harm than if you don’t show up in the first place.

COACHES: Coaches are also wanted. There is a coaches meeting this Friday night. The times that you coach on Saturdays will depend on what age group you want to work with. The kids range in age from 7-17. No coaching experience is necessary, though a fair knowledge of basketball is. Coaching will run through March.

If you are interested and are dependable, please contact me and let me know. Pretty much everybody that did it last year is coming back, so I think that you’ll find that this is highly rewarding work.

When I was in the 4th grade, a kid named Matt H. (Front row, 2nd from right, with the pink ears. That’s me next to him, in all white.) used to always pick on me, and I would always come home in tears. Finally, my mom had had enough. So she said, “Call him and challenge him to a fight tomorrow.” I was astounded. My mom has never been a violent person at all, but apparently she realized that every once in a while, a person’s gotta stand up for themselves (and she knew that I was going to be calling his bluff.) So I called Matt H. and the conversation went as follows:

• JGT: Hey Matt.
• Matt: Hey.
• JGT: Hey listen, I’m just calling to challenge you to a fight out by my swingset at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning.
• Matt: Um, hold on a second. Let me go ask my mom. (long pause) Hey, my mom says I can’t fight you tomorrow. But do you want to go to the movies tonight?
• JGT (Who was scared to death that he might accept the challenge): Yeah, sure!

And Matt H. and I have been friends ever since. So when I read about this mom in Dover who drove her daughter to the house of a girl who had been picking on her and told her to fight, I said, “Right on!” Yeah, the cops are pissed and the media won’t give you a fair shake, but every once in a while you gotta stand up to a bully, critics be damned. And, according to this story, the bully got her ass beat. Good on ya, I say. Maybe if the bully had invited her to the movies, none of this would have ever happened.

Now a lot of you probably think that I just sort through missed connections on craigslist everyday, hoping against hope that someday someone will leave a missed connection for a certain quizmaster. That accusation is nothing short of outlandish, and I can’t believe you even made it. That being said, I was searching through missed connections on Craigslist the other day for the first time in my entire life and happened to come across this. Awwww. I don’t know who it is, but needless to say I have a crush on them too.

In your honor, we’d like to play this song we thought was awesome in the 80s before we had any idea who the Beatles were.

Finally a website that adores Manayunk as much as we do! Looks like it isn’t updated all that often, but I found the following write up fascinating: The one major thing I noticed is that either Manayunk is becoming more like Olde City, or otherwise people are just beginning to dress like it. Whatever happened to Manayunk being the chill, summer spot to go when you’re not down the shore? I didn’t realize that leaopard-print minis on girls and v-neck tight black tees on guys were in-style for a Philly suburb outdoor deck bar. I mean, come on, people!! Oh, and another thing…stop shoving your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat in public! That’s just gross.

Apparently the author of this column just opened her eyes for the first time. Manayunk has long been the worst place in the entire Philadelphia area, including Old City. I mean, I have had a good time in Old City before. I have never had a good time in Manayunk. Of course, I haven’t been back for a couple of years now. I think I need to make a triumphant return and have an awful night.

• Wanna know a few things to hate about LA as we gear up for the NLCS? Click here.
• Stand up Comedy tonight at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge).
• Palin’s saying that Obama likes terrorists, Obama is bringing up the Keating Five. It’s getting hot in herrrrrrre.
• Anybody got an extra seat for Friday night’s game? Please let me know!

I have long loathed gangster rap for basically ruining what was art and replacing it with, as Little Brother put it, a Minstrel Show. But I have to give Ice Cube credit. He is one of the few gangster rappers out there with a fairly high degree of intelligence, and his latest song in which he talks about what an ultraviolent society we live in and how that isn’t gangster raps fault is certainly thought-provoking, whether or not you agree with the message. That, to me, is art and precisely what rap should be. But 9 times out of 10 it’s just some dope talking about many people he’s shot, a tired spiel that’s been played out since 1992.

A couple of interesting notes this morning:

• A piece in the Times about being a Game Show Host.
• Here’s a 10 question Sarah Palin quiz.
• Here’s an 80s movie quiz from Flixster.

We had a rare 4-blowout week, where every quizzo on Tuesday and Thursday was determined by 12 or more points. That left us with two dandies, at the Black Sheep and at the Locust Rendezvous. At the Rendezvous, the Jams still stayed in a bit of a funk, but were able to pull out a workmanline 87-85 win over Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly. So our match of the week has to go to the Black Sheep, where Ther’s Always Money in the Banana Stand held off a furious rally by the Axis of Evil Knieval who after a shaky start got 22 of the final 23 questions correct. But four misses in the 50/50 round turned out to be the deciding factor in a 107-105 win for the Banana Stand. Duane’s World, meanwhile could have pulled off the win but missed the weekly double, which the two previous teams did not, and had to settle for a 100 point 3rd place.

OK, so a little background. Chip and I decided to enter a 24 hour film festival over the past weekend. We also invited local comedian Kent Haines to be a part of the program. Here was the deal: they sent you a topic and a prop at 10 p.m. on Friday night, and you had to turn in a three and a half minute movie on Saturday night at 10 p.m. We got the email at 10 p.m. The topic was bullies and the prop was a rose. We were going to do like a Karate Kid type film except with robots, but then decided against it. Then, we decided to do a documentary, but after shooting for most of the morning, had nothing good. So then we just decided to make a short film about a bully and a nerd. It turned out pretty awful, as you can see here.

So at 7:15 p.m., with less than three hours remaining in the contest, we decided to start from scratch. We did a one shot film, but although that one was better, we thought it might offend some people. So after working for 24 hours we decided not to enter at all. Despondent after our latest failure and $85 poorer, Chip and I did what anyone would have done under the circumstances: we got a late night dinner at Johnny Rockets.