I’m going to be honest. I’m a little disappointed with my performance on the gayometer. I’m only 40% gay. I thought I was a little gayer than that. Anyways, take it yourself, and feel free to post the results below.

I’ve had a ton of people ask me about the address to Tony’s Pizza. It is 6300 Frankford Avenue. Yes, a bit of a trek, but well worth it. Also, the Man in Black is back. The Johnny Cash cover band will be playing as part of a cinco de mayo spectacular at Barrister’s on friday night. In Anthony Dimeo news, this comes to us courtesy of my good friend D-Mac over at PhiladelphiaWillDo. Meanwhile, over at Philebrity, you can get a taste of the new Gnarls Barkley album. I like track number five. Alright, I gotta wipe away the cobwebs and get crackin’ on this site. I got some quizzo results and a couple of pizza reviews coming soon. Oh, and about the 24 inch pythons in the picture above, a member of the JAMS brought in the actual ECW championship belt which he had won at a trivia competition recently, so I had to see what I would look like if I were a heavyweight wrestling champ. A champ who wears a lavender shirt.

Hey everybody, Johnny didn’t see the last post so now he’s texting me telling me to discuss the Flyers on the site. Like that’s just what I want to do after last night’s debacle. But hey, he’s the celebrity, and I’m just living in his shadow so his will be done.
Man, what a courageous effort last night, eh? All that rhetoric about getting off to a fast start really came to fruition. But what can you do, Buffalo was the faster, better team, and they won. The big questions start now.

Continue reading “Yeah, About Those Flyers” →

Johnny had to leave you all (or as he says when he remembers he’s from Virginia, “y’all”) for some sort of lucrative corporate gig this morning. And now he’s off to take Spanish class. In the meantime he asked me to entertain you for a moment or two.

So what do we have in the news today? Did you see this one? Turns out a solid 1/3 of Americans 18-24 could not find Louisiana on a map of the United States. And if that doesn’t haunt you, how about that 60% of those quizzed couldn’t find Iraq on a map.

Don’t worry, Johnny will returning later this afternoon and he will be back to being a true man of leisure.

– Trivia Art

It’s fun to occasionally look at my web stats and find out what brings people to the website. For example, last month 85 people landed on johnnygoodtimes.com because they typed Bernadette Stanis into their search engine (the hottie from the show Goodtimes and former question of the week). 82 got here by typing in eazy e. I don’t always believe this thing, though. For example, 73 people landed on my site after typing in Jesus. I can’t imagine my site comes up real high on google when you type in “Jesus”. 21 people got here by typing in Intercourse. Probably not what they were looking for. Other search engine requests that brought people to johnnygoodtimes.com in the month of April? Birthday spanking, tony toni tone, mexican police, claire huxtable, great asses, lazy sluts, von hayes devil, lay pipe, hitler personality quiz, stalin is good, eaten by a jellyfish, and wear your ass as a hat. Sounds about right.

Cinco de Mayo commemorates the victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza in what battle?

In a shocking announcement this morning, Juan Buenostiempos, Johnny’s cousin from south of the border and a well known and respected entertainer in Mexico (he’s won numerous Latin Grammy’s), declared that his RPS days are over. “Yo estoy finito,” said a disconsolate Buenostiempos, who actually won two matches last night. But it was his behavior in his second match, where he nearly ripped the arm off of a female contestant and threw her into a table (“El fue un accidente,” said an apologetic Buenostiempos), that turned the crowd against him and prompted his retirement. When the crowd began jeering, Buenostiempos shot them a double bird. He said “Lo siento” after the match was over, but the damage was done. Buenostiempos will head back into the studio, and is expected to record a song about his experiences on the American RPS circuit. It will be muy bueno.

George Bush got roasted this past weekend at the White House Correspondants dinner, including a double who acted as his conscious. It was pretty funny. Check it out here.

Jam Master Sean, local Rock Paper Scissors legend and quizzo host at the Dive, is turning the big 3-0 today. He will be celebrating by holding a littel RPS action at the Khyber. Come on out and party, then lose to me (I will be taking the title tonight) starting at 9 p.m.

Johnny threw on his best pair of Bad Idea Jeans last night, and is currently paying the price. He was convinced to help celebrate Cheezy’s birthday (far right) by slamming an Irish Car Bomb. Then moments after this took place, members of the winning team, who I’ll post later, convinced Johnny to take another one. Reports say that Goodtimes “struggled mightily” to rise from bed this morning and “did not make the gym”. He is scheduled to grab pizza shortly in East Falls.