Typically we do our St. Valentine’s Day Massacre this week at quizzo, but with the Winter Olympics also going on we’re going to mix it up a bit this week. We’re going to make it Fire and Ice week, with questions inspired by fiery passions, cold blooded murder, and, ya know, luge. See ya this week!

TUESDAY

• Market at Comcast
• Sidecar 8 pm
• O’Neals 8 pm

WEDNESDAY

• Locust Rendezvous 6:15 pm
• Founding Fathers 8:30 pm

THURSDAY

• Birra 8 pm
• Bards 9:15 pm

This week’s quiz is in honor of YOUR Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles. It will be all about Birds…don’t worry, it’s not a football quiz, I’ll get plenty creative with it. Gonna be a fun quiz to write and a fun way to celebrate. Action starts tonight at O’Neals at 8 p.m. and Sidecar at 8 p.m. See ya tonight!

As you’ve heard if you’ve seen the national news recently, there was a massive riot in Philadelphia Sunday night. I was in the middle of it, and my God, was it HORRIFYING. To some people around me, it looked like a lot of strangers hugging, but those were actually bear hugs. Those were people trying to SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF EACH OTHER.

To the layman, it looked like there were a lot of high fives on the streets. NOT SO FAST! That was actually a game they call the “knockout game”, where people try to smack a strangers hand so hard it knocks them unconscious. It happens all the time in Philadelphia!

I also saw small children in strollers being pushed by their parents. Cute, right? WRONG! I saw at least two BLOWTORCHES in strollers that the toddlers would use later to burn down some buildings (see picture above. Started by a toddler).

One of the most horrifying images from the night was this one:

The poor young man, down on his knees, BEGGING FOR MERCY. Sadly, he was not to receive it. Moments after the photo was taken, the vengeful Philadelphia woman smashed his head open with that Olde English bottle. Horrific!

There were also people climbing up poles. Terrible! A lot of people might not know this, but scientists have recently discovered that light poles can feel pain. Yes! That’s right! So those people climbing up poles were actually hurting sentient beings! Or maybe I’m thinking of lobster. Anyways, whatever, those people are animals.

And don’t even get me started on the historic Ritz Carlton awning! Put up by Benjamin Franklin himself when he first moved here in 17-whatever, and a bunch of idiots standing on it destroyed this PRICELESS ARTIFACT FROM AMERICA’S PAST.

Last night, I took this photo of the view from my bedroom window.

The fires have been burning since Sunday night, and they are expected to burn until we all die.

Yep, Philadelphia is a festering hellhole that has been taken over by animals! Believe the hype, and steer clear! Will make a little more room for the rest of us at the SUPER BOWL PARADE WE’LL BE HAVING BECAUSE THE EAGLES WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!

Well it’s the biggest day of the year for quizzo nerds in Philadelphia. A party supreme. We’re going to have a blast tonight. Here’s everything you need to know.

I have a LITTLE bit of space left. Enough for two more teams. If you want to get your team into the Greatest Quizzo Event on Earth, you can purchase tickets here.

The doors open at 7 p.m. Tables are first come first serve, so the earlier you get there the better table your team gets.

The quiz will begin at 8 p.m. and should end around 11:15 or so (full schedule is below). This isn’t a usual turn and burn quizzo, but hey’s, it’s a Saturday and you got nowhere else to be. Sit back, relax and enjoy.

Would love to have you guys let social media knowing what you’re up to. GOTTA EXPAND THE BRAND. Tag any photos you take of the event, or of your team, or of Fastball Bob, with the hashtag #Quizzobowl.

Speaking of which, we’ve got enough photos of me and Bob onstage at World Cafe Live, so instead of a photographer this year, I wanted to a) make myself the official photographer so I could congregate more with the unwashed masses participants and b) crowd source the photography. Be sure to take plenty of photos of your team and of the scene, then post them on our Quizzo Bowl Facebook page. That said, of course no phones out during game play.

Afterparty will be at 24, right down the street from the World Cafe Live. They’re keeping the spot open just for us, and they ‘ll take us from 11:30 until close. They’ll have $2 Miller Lights, $5 Sly Fox, and $5 Yards Pale Ale. They won’t have food, though, so be sure to get fed at World Cafe Live.

As for music, I’m really excited to introduce you guys to the Wallace Brothers. You’re going to dig these guys. Have fun, and I’m hoping we see an upset tonight. Here’s our schedule, subject to change of course. 7:00 Doors

Alright folks, we’re at 225 tickets sold, meaning we’ve got room for 6 more teams. If your team wants to partake in the best party in Philly between now and the Super Bowl, I will have tickets on me tonight at Bards at 9:15 p.m. (cash only, but no online fees). Otherwise, you can purchase tickets online here. Gonna be a great show. Can’t wait!

QB14 from Johnny Nottingham on Vimeo.

Picture this: on January 27th, your team is granted nerd immortality by shocking the world and winning Quizzo Bowl. A week later, the Eagles are granted football immortality by overcoming the odds and winning their first Super Bowl.

But you can’t win if you don’t play. I’ve got room for eight more teams. The glory can be yours. Buy your tickets here or you can pick them up from me this week at my quizzes. The Eagles are taking their shot at glory. Are you?