Hey gang, if you do ever do decide to smuggle 17 pounds of cocaine onto Amtrak, I suggest that you do not smoke a joint on said train.
Author: Johnny Goodtimes
Story of the day
Ever wondered what to do if your car is teetering over thge edge of a cliff? Well, now you’ve got the know-how! Remember, Johnny’s not just a game show host. He’s a lifesaver.
Newsflash: Crackehead steals Johnny’s Laundry
Johnny learned a valuable lesson last friday: never trust a crackhead, especially with your laundry. When Johnny told the neighborhood crackhead he’d pay him if he would do some laundry for him, he truly didn’t think the man would run off with his clothers and $8 in quarters. Yet that was friday, and Johnny has not seen his clothes (or his quarters) since. If you see a white basket filled with clothes anywhere in the city, please let Johnny know. Thanks. (By the way, I spelled laundry “landry” by accident when I typed it into google, and what resulted was a lot better pic than any pic of laundry.)
When are you going to die?
Find out here!
Question of the week
What type of journalism is Hunter Thompson credited with inventing?
Presidential quiz
Here’s a presidential quiz you all might enjoy.
Website of the Day
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This game is a lot of fun, but highly addictive. I still can’t believe that girl made those pics with ketchup.
Website of the Day
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Did you know that you can use Coca Cola to clean your toilet? Or Colgate as spackle? Or Miracle Whip as a hair conditioner? There are hundreds of strange uses for household items on this website.
Website of the day
Ever wonder how much your body would be worth on the black market? Find out at humansforsale.com! I’m worth $1,836,000.
Hot Chicks prove critics wrong
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A couple of hot chicks were able to disprove the naysayers at Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night, as they set a new Photo Hunt record, scoring over 280,000. “This is a great day for hot chicks,” said Johnny. “I mean, a lot of people think that just because you’re hot, you can’t pick out five inconsistencies on two similar pictures of scantily clad men. This rocks that theory.” Johnny went on to say that neither chick seemed real interested in getting to know him better.