Johnny is hoping to leave the country next month, but first he needs to find a suitable replacement for quizzo. Wanna earn a little extra scratch and be a B-level celebrity for a few weeks? Send me an e-mail if you’re interested, and we’ll see if you have what it takes to be a man (or woman) of leisure.

Johnny learned a valuable lesson last friday: never trust a crackhead, especially with your laundry. When Johnny told the neighborhood crackhead he’d pay him if he would do some laundry for him, he truly didn’t think the man would run off with his clothers and $8 in quarters. Yet that was friday, and Johnny has not seen his clothes (or his quarters) since. If you see a white basket filled with clothes anywhere in the city, please let Johnny know. Thanks. (By the way, I spelled laundry “landry” by accident when I typed it into google, and what resulted was a lot better pic than any pic of laundry.)