Johnny to Help Cast for Upcoming WB Game Show!

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Hey, if any single men between the ages of 21-35 want an opportunity to win big money on an upcoming national reality/game show, please be sure to attend the Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo Spectacular for the next couple of weeks. Johnny will be helping to cast for this program, as yet untitled. There is no entry fee. If Johnny thinks you’ve got the right stuff, you will earn an opportunity to try out in front of LA casting directors on October 22 at Philadelphia Casting here in Philadelphia. The right stuff is not in the traditional TV sense (this ain’t the Bachelor), but in an intellectual sense. I myself will be trying out. And you will have the opportunity to make a national TV appearance and win BIG MONEY!

Dick Cheney’s Stockholders Win, Try to Shed Negativity

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Dick Cheney’s Stockholders, a team of young right wingers, was able to win big at Doc Watson’s on Monday night. They also took advantage of their time in the media spotlight to talk about the good side of Halliburton. “Listen, when people say bad things about Halliburton, they’re talking about the old Halliburton,” said team member Thadley Nickerson III. “The old Halliburton sold Libya and Iraq oil drilling weapons which could be used to detonate nuclear devices and overcharged the army for food and fuel. The new Halliburton cuts people’s lawns, and brings you chicken noodle soup when you don’t feel well. At Halliburton, it’s out with the old and in with the new!”