Yeah, I know I said that I would have the Beat the Champs stuff up a few days ago. I’m still waiting on a rough estimate from World Cafe Live as far as when tickets will go on sale before I set people loose throughout the city. Hopefully I’ll hear something soon, and will then post your initial assignments. If you don’t have anything else to do tonight, play this game called Diner Dash. Highly addictive, especially if you’ve ever waited tables before.

I really want to thank everybody who donated $1 to play quizzo this week. We raised $248!!! A number of people questioned whether or not the UN was the best choice to send the money, due to high cost of administration and questions after Annan’s son’s “Oil for Food” scandal. I did some more homework, and found a charity that I think will make better use of our money. It’s called Action Against Hunger, it received an “A” grade from the American Institute of Philanthropy, and over 90 cents of every dollar goes directly to its programs. Thanks again for your generosity, and I hope you won’t mind if we make the “Dollar Week” an occasional part of quizzo. There are a number of great local charities I think it would be kool to help out as well. As far as the “Is this money REALLY going for charity, Johnny?” question I received, oh, I’d say 248 times this past week, I’d just like to say this: First of all, thanks for having so much faith in my morality. Really, I’m touched. Also, YES, 100% of the money raised is going to charity.

And what I mean by “Happy Birthday” is that on this, your special day, I hope you fall off of a cliff. A big one. Oh, by the way, check out the new poll question. Let’s find out once and for all what you people think about Dave Matthews.

Baseball legend Satchel Paige was born on this date in 1906. He was as well known for his homespun wisdaom as he was for his fastball. Here’s a few of his famous quotes.
I interviewed one of his former catchers a few years ago (seriously!) and will try to get that interview up on the website soon. Also, there are some pretty good debates brewing under the two Live 8 stories, one about Dave Matthews, the other about aid to Africa. Please feel free to add your two cents.

…in 1947 that aliens were found at Roswell. Well, maybe. The official Air Force report says that the “aliens” were mannequins. Here’s some of the alien photos and some basic information, as well as some good links.

My thoughts about aliens? Well, I remember when the show Sightings used to come on, and they always had sort of trashy families on the show. And every episode, the families were eating pizza. Finally, I put two and two together and realized that talking about their encounters with UFOs got them free pizza. So after a while, I felt like people were just making stories up to get free pizza. That’s my alien conspiracy theory.

…picking on Republicans for a while after this, but I gotta mention it. George Bush fell off his freaking bike again. This is like the 12th time he’s fallen off his bike since taking office. In fact last year, he inspired a question of the week. He really needs to find a new hobby. Maybe jigsaw puzzles or tae-bo or something.

The bad news is that a federal judge is ordering a reporter to jail for not divulging sources, which is absolutely horrifying, since it seems like the kind of thing that happens in North Korea, not in the United States. The lone silver lining is that evil human being Karl Rove (see “racist attacks on McCain, 2000”) could find himself in hot water because of it. Also, can anyone tell me why Robert Novak isn’t in any trouble? That’s the part I really don’t get.

The Man in Black will be in concert tonight at Fergie’s at 10, raising money for the most ridiculous cause in the history of the world. Tommorrow night, a Midsummer Night’s Madness will be taking place, with Belgian band the Present and quizzo member KiaRash’s band the Red Masque performing at the Allens Lane Art Center in Mount Airy. Show time is 8 pm and tickets are $20. If you have an upcoming music, stage, or comedy event, I would be more than happy to post it on the website. Just shoot me an email.

On July 6, 1887, an American militia forced Hawaiian King David Kalakaua to sign, at gunpoint, the Bayonet Constitution, giving American businessmen firm control over the Hawaiian government and leaving the Native population without a voice. The thing that’s interesting about this is that there is currently a controversial bill being presented by Hawaiian senator Daniel Akaka which would recognize the the nation’s 400,000 Native Hawaiians in the same way that it recognizes American Indians and Alaska natives. Some citizens of Hawaii see the bill as divisive, and many Native Hawaiians oppose the bill because they (and this is admirable, though impractical) think that since the land was seized illegally, it still belongs to them and should be reverted to an independant nation, not a state.