Author: aetchells

Sports Shorts: Blowout Edition

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  • The Eagles enjoyed a blowout win over the Rams, who will be hard pressed to match their 2007 total of 3 wins. But the Eagles weren’t the only ones enjoying a blowout this weekend, and 38-3 looks like a thriller when compared to the biggest blowout of all time. And in case you were curious, the Eagles biggest blowout win came in 1934, when they defeated the Cincinnati Reds 64-0.
  • Arkansas State got off to a good start in their season opener, knocking off Texas Southern, 83-10.
  • The record for biggest blowout in college football history was Georgia Tech over Cumberland College, 222-0. This game was a statisticians dream: Cumberland ran 27 times for -42 yards with 9 fumbles, and their QB was 2-18 with 6 interceptions. Georgia Tech had over 1,000 more yards rushing than Cumberland, finishing with 978 yards rushing. (They did not attempt a pass.) As the NY Times notes, Tech may have run up the score because Cumberland’s baseball team had defeated theirs 22-0 in 1915.
  • Slovakia’s Women’s Ice hockey team may have just one upped Georgia Tech, as they defeated Bulgaria 82-0 over the weekend. They averaged one goal every 44 seconds.

Book Review

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You have a long history of coming to johnnygoodtimes.com to learn more about love from the “Love Maestro”. I have given you beauty tips, dating tips, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you are learning from a man with a long history of success in the Game of Love. Well, I want to share one of my latest secrets to help your love life: pick up this book, written by my totally awesome editor Dorothy Robinson and some guy. Dorothy is an extremely funny writer, and this isn’t some crappy melange of cliched dating tips. It’s silly and fun and spot on. You can trust me, I’m the Love Maestro!

Boxing This Friday at the Blue Horizon!

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I would highly encourage anybody who is looking for an authentic Philadelphia experience to go to the Blue Horizon this Friday night for boxing. Yeah, it was an awesome spot for Quizzo Bowl and it is undoubtedly an awesome spot for boxing. But even more than that, it is the best place to people watch in Philadelphia, bar none. Guys dressed like extras in 70s Blaxploitation flicks sit side by side with doctors in pleated khakis, North Philly teens in hoodies and oversized white tees wait in line for hot dogs next to meathead frat boys in Abercrombie shirts. I have never been anywhere in Philadelphia that hosts such a crosscurrent of our population. I am definitely planning on going. Lemme know if you are. Here’s the info on friday’s bouts.

RELATED: Column I did in the Metro on boxing at the Blue Horizon.

Pics of last weeks winners

Hey gang, I used my iphone to take pics of last weeks winners. Unfortunately, that iphone was stolen over the weekend. $400 later, I got a new iPhone, but alas, no photos. However, all the teams that won have won at least once before, so I’ll post an old photo with a question underneath about something that happened on this date.

Scoreboard, Brought to you by Rodney Dangerfield (This is Brilliant)


O’NEALS

  1. But Where’s the Rum 92
  2. The Daunting Prospects 89
  3. Scrotto Saggins 85
  4. We Got Nothin’ 71
  5. Altar Servers 61

BARDS

  1. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 100
  2. Sofa Kingdom 93
  3. Bristol Palin’s Baby Daddy 88
  4. VP Moose Knuckle 84
  5. Ermine Muff 80

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. Susan’s Peters 100
  2. Trust Us We Know 84
  3. Always There 82
  4. File Clerks 79
  5. Joe Lieberman is in Witness Protection 77

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 93
  2. Learned Handjob 92
  3. Mr. Plow 90
  4. MIke Dimarco 90
  5. Pot Bellied Pigs 84

GOOD DOG

  1. Palin Comparison 91
  2. Palin Hates Polar Bears 85
  3. Steve O 79
  4. Underachievers 70
  5. Shomer Shabbas 60

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 102
  2. Pitbulls and Hockey Moms 96
  3. Bristol and Levi 4-Eva 93
  4. We Know WHo Took Your Chair 93
  5. Alex Trebeck Runs Full Speed…92