Author: aetchells

News and Notes

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With all of this excitement going on around ME, Johnny Goodtimes, I almost for got about you, the Little People. But don’t worry. I didn’t have a chance to post pics of last week’s winners because I am now a HUGE TELEVISION MEGASTAR, and don’t have time for such trifling details. Also because I had to go to court today, only to find out I was a day early and now have to go back tomorrow. They laughed at me. But yeah, I’ll post photos tomorrow. Before I return to court.

Speaking of laughter, if you missed last night’s show at the Khyber you missed one of the funniest things that has ever happened anywhere ever, and that was the performance of Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez. Ask anyone who made it to the show (we had a great turnout, big thanks to all in the quizzo community who made it out) and they’ll tell you it was one of the funniest things they’ve ever seen in their lives. Next show is on March 16th, and it looks like this is the first thing that Chip and I have ever collaborated on that is a success. So you should check it out.

Oh yeah, quizzo. Some of you folks prefer seeing ME, Johnny Goodtimes, live instead of on the moving picture box. Understandable. My live performances call to mind a young Peter Frampton. Therefore I will be gracing you with my presence at O’Neals at 8 p.m. and at the Bards at 10 p.m. tonight. Don’t believe the hype.

Headline of the Day: Chinese Mistress Contest Takes Tragic Turn

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Quick piece of advice from a man who knows all the ins and outs of love: if you decide to hold a mistress contest to see which one of your 5 mistresses you should keep, don’t have one of the losers take everybody joy riding. He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said. The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said. It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

If I ever lose a contest because the judge says I’m too ugly, and you’re also in the contest, and then I invite you to join me on a “sightseeing tour”, I would highly advise that you spurn my offer.

Chip Chantry One Man Show Tonight!

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Hey gang, I’m gonna be helping out on the Chip Chantry One Man Show at the Khyber tonight, and it promises to be a good one. There will be standup from Dan Goodman, a skit from sketch group Animosity Pierre, musical guest John Sterling, and standup by Dennis Horan, one of the funniest comedians you will ever see live. There are also rumors of a special appearance by fastball pitcher Bob Gutierrez and possibly a new educational filmstrip. This is gonna be good. Be at the Khyber (2nd and Chestnut) at 8 p.m. It’s gonna be a roaring good time.