The Staff was able to hold off the Nation of Quizlam on Wednesday night at Nick’s Roast Beef. Club 501 finished third. Usually, Nick’s offers a $50 gift certificate for the winner. But in an effort to up the ante even further, Johnny has announced that next week’s winner will go home with a brand new car!**

**This is a lie.

A powerful blizzard blew into Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night, making conditions miserable for the players. “I could barely see my paper,” said Jacques Juicetoe of the second place Flying Monkeys. But Mr. Wahn was able to fight through the miserable conditions and rack up 98 points. “They should really think about putting a retractable dome on this place,” said Chase Halliburton of the Mr. Wahn squad. “I mean my cheese fries were delicious as always, but all that snow made them a little soggy.”

The Slow Gin Quiz was able to knock off Always a Quizzo Bridesmaid with a steady if unspectacular 79-72 win. The team, which is rather accustomed to finishing last, got off to a quick lead and held on in round four. There is a time change this coming week: Watson’s will begin at 8:15 p.m. For teams that might be more clever than smart: Doc Watson’s is the only Johnny Goodtimes Quizzo that offers a gift certificate for best team name.

Oblivia Dehaviland was able to hold on and win a squeaker at the Centre Square Bar and Grille. After the game, Johnny was quoted as saying, “I never doubted this team’s mental capabilities, but after naming the team after a 1940’s supporting actress, I do have some questions about their sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

The Troy McClures were a handful on Monday at Doc Watson’s Pub, but father figure Dick Van Patten was able to get the team to buckle down in round four and run away with an 82-68 victory. “It was nice to have Dick there,” said team captain Dr. Chuckie Needlebump. “I’m just sorry that Adam Rich (Nicholas) couldn’t make it.”

Frank Clement’s North pulled away in round four at Centre Square Bar and Grille at Bedford Falls on Tuesday, and cruised to a victory over Dewey Cheatum and Howe. The team, which has been ravaged by injuries in the past few months, was finally able to get their whole squad on the field.

Professor Flapjack defeated the much maligned Team Hater, 100-89 on Monday at Doc Watson’s. The articles on the website kind of suck this week, but that’s because I’ve hit the sauce pretty heavily over the holidays. I really need to pull it together.