Author: aetchells

Scoreboard, Brought to You By River Raid

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O’NEALS

  1. Savage Henry 101
  2. Spare Placemat 100
  3. Why is John’s Rum Gone 95
  4. My Wife Can’t Wrestle But You Should See Her Box 80
  5. Lost at Seahawks 78

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 108
  2. Chip Chantry Said to Say Hi 68
  3. AIG: And It’s Gone 66
  4. Can’t Swim 55
  5. Commie Homo Loving Son of a Gun 37

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 108
  2. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 107
  3. This is Not a Bus 100
  4. 1022 98
  5. Quiz on Your Face 86

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 112
  2. Satan’s Minions 109
  3. Catdog 93
  4. Gridlock 81
  5. Tim’s New Lap Dog 76

GOOD DOG

  1. Eschaton 103
  2. Get Confident, Stupid Peen 101
  3. Fort Awesome 92
  4. Spitzer’s Revenge 75
  5. Silently Judging You 73

BARDS

  1. Sofa Bombs 108
  2. Lambda Lambda Lambda 99
  3. It’s Sonja’s Birthday 95
  4. Erik S. Is Not Married 82
  5. Diego’s Red Rocket 73

Why Phish Sucks

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Phish is reuniting in my neck of the woods. They are playing a reunion show at the Hampton Coliseum tonight, much to the joy of the LAMEST WHITE PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET EARTH. God, that group is unbearable. There was a period of about two years of my life where I lost all of my closest friends because they were simply incapable of discussing anything except Phish. No, I mean literally, nothing.

  • ME: Hey, did you see that game last night?
  • THEM: (Blank stare, turns to other friend in group) Dude, you remember the third set in Dayton?
  • FRIEND #3: Epic. Reminded me of their opening set in Pittsburgh. Remember when they led off with Tweezer in the Freezer and…

And so on FOR HOURS. It was no different than having every friend of yours joining a cult, except that at least cults are interesting. Well, I figured I must be missing something big, so I went to one of their shows in Charlottesville. Brutal. I mean, painfully boring. I’m pretty sure they played the same song for 3 1/2 hours. I spent one summer counting potatoes in a field, day after day, week after week, and that provided me with more stimulation than that concert did. And hey guys, what do you think about maybe injecting just a seed of rhythm and/or soul into one of your songs? Painful.

Trivia Art Famous Now. Oh Hell.

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Go ahead pick up a copy of today’s Metro. Notice anyone familiar on the cover? Yeah, that’s Trivia Art, Foobooz CEO, occasional quizzo substitute, man behind the curtain at JGT.com and iSportacus, and guy who likes to drink. In fact, he’s becoming one of Phillys most famous drinkers, as there is a front page story about him getting drunk in today’s Metro (Online version here). Yes, we’re in a crippling recession, and Trivia Art is getting paid to drink good beer. This is like on Cheers when Norm got that job at the brewery.