I decided to go to Church for the first time in like 5 years on Sunday. I’ve been thinking about attending for a while, and waking up pretty refreshed on Sunday, I figured, “Why not?” So I went to the First Unitarian Church at 21st and Chestnut. Long story short, everyone was really nice, there were a couple of cute girls, free coffee, and a very mellow environment (no Bible passages, weird chants, etc.) It was nice.
After church I was strolling around Chestnut street when I saw an old lady walking down some stairs. And when I say old, I mean really, really old. In all seriousness, she was at least 95 or 96**, and as fragile as a fall leaf. She had a blue boot on her right foot, and really seemed to be having a hard time navigating the stairs with her cane. A gentleman in front of me asked her if she needed any help. She ignored him. I assumed it was because she was so old that she couldn’t hear him. I was feeling especially charitable, having just attended church and all, so I walked over and stuck out my arm toward her.
“Mam, would you care to take my arm?” I asked, as sweetly as I could. She looked up and stared me dead in the eye, and replied, with her voice rising, “I don’t need any F***ING help. You’re the 5th F***ING person to ask me if I need any help and the answer is no.” Dumbfounded, I sort of staggered away. The gentleman who had asked her before me, a husky black man in his early 50s wearing an Atlanta Hawks jersey hollered, “You didn’t have to say that! You did not have to say that!” at the woman. She paid him no mind. “Gonna ruin somebody’s Sunday like that! Ain’t no sense in it.”
“I know,” I added to the man in the jersey. “And I just got out of church.”
As BMT stated when I told him that story Sunday night, “Sir, you just got shot down by a 95 year old woman.” I guess that’s what I get for going to church and for trying to help old people.
**Possibly in her 100s.