My First Love

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Brian of The JGT All-Stars (See O’Neals story. He’s the guy in back with the beard) is a Star Wars fanatic, so when I found out that he was going to be seeing the 12:01 screening of Star Wars III, I asked him to write a review. Here are his thoughts.

For the first 336 days of 1977, I was five years old. It was during this time that I fell in love?..and I fell hard. Now for all of you who don?t believe at love at first sight, I assure you that you are wrong. For my first love is actually still with me to this day, as beautiful as ever. And after all this time, she still possesses the ability to put a smile on my face despite my mood and lift me out to a galaxy far, far away. I refer, of course, to Star Wars (or ?Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope? as it has come to be known). And now, on the morning of May 19, 2005 I hate to say I am heartbroken. Not by the film, Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (which I saw at 12:01 this morning and it totally f@&^ing rocked), but by the fellow fans who felt the same as I did that fateful day in ?77 when they too were seduced by the ways of the Force. Allow me to explain.


If you were born after 1980 and never got to see the original trilogy in the theaters, or are too young to truly remember, you can stop reading now because you just won?t get it.

My heartbreak began in 1999, when Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace was released. I had anxiously waited all those long months through the teasers and the previews. Waited through the media onslaught and the waves of related merchandise. Waited 16 years for this film that would surely redefine the movie-going experience yet again. Was I disappointed? No. Now for all of you that are gasping and dragging your jaws off the floor, it?s actually you whom I need to speak to the most. What happened? At what point did you stop suspending disbelief and allow yourself to be a slave to tabloids and local news reviews? When exactly was it that a small, red Roger Ebert adorned with horns and a tail popped onto your shoulder and began whispering things to you about an ?actors caliber? or about ?wooden dialogue?? When did you become so cinematically self-righteous that you forgot how to enjoy a fairy tale? All of the negativity and panning of the film left an utterly rancid taste in my mouth. Not for movie-going, but movie-GOERS.

Now, I know all of the criticism surrounding Episode?s I & II, I?ve heard it a million times by now. ?The romance between Anakin and Padme seemed too forced,? or ?The CGI was too much! I liked the puppets better,? or the most used critique of all ?Jar Jar Binks sucks!?. Do me a favor and get over yourselves. Yes, Jar Jar was TOTALLY annoying! Yes, the scripts could have used a good polishing! And even I will admit that yes, there seem to be a few gaps in the cohesion of the story that leave me scratching my head! But to allow these minor flaws to ruin the over all experience is not doing any justice to the films or yourselves.

I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED EPISODE III!! From the gradual and tormented transformation of Anakin from Jedi to Sith to the lush backdrops that made Lucas legendary to the first goosebump inducing moment when the newly masked Darth Vader draws his first mechanically aided breath, I loved it all and welcome anyone to attempt to debate the point with me.

Perhaps I, myself, am more Sith than Jedi. I am too governed by passion and fear of loss than by logic and reason to see these films from an entirely objective point of view. I feel the anger begin to seethe within me when people say they hated the prequels but tell me I really gotta see ?White Chicks?. And I am lured blindly by the thirst for another fix of galactic conflict. Having ranted, I highly recommend that you go see Episode III and decide for yourselves. From one fan to another, it is breath ?taking and magical. Is it the greatest film ever? Of course not???that came out in 1977.