This is neither here nor there, but I was working on a 50-50 round, and thought about using Bobby the Brain Heenan for it. Well, I decided I couldn’t really use The Brain because too many of his lines contained wrestlers names, but I was laughing my head off at some of his one-liners, so I thought I’d share. He and Gorilla Monsoon were the greatest 1-2 combo is announcing history for any sport, if you ask me. Keep in mind, he was the ultimate bad guy wrestling manager so he wasn’t particularly politically correct.

1. “Hulk Hogan’s entrance music is my second favorite song of all time. All the rest are tied for first.”
2. “Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more English you get out of him.”
3. On Kerry von Erich: “He is the only man I know of who can hide his own Easter eggs.”
4. On Lou Ferigno’s speech impediment: “Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate two pounds of crackers.”
5. “That was a legal move. It was a Greco-Roman hair pull.”
6. “Brass knuckles come in handy at the movies when that guy behind you can’t shut up his ugly kid.”
7. “His Dad’s Italian, his Mom’s a German Shepherd.”
8. “If women were meant to be wrestlers, why do we have kitchens?”
9. “She was voted Best-Looking at the Indiana School for the Blind.”
10. “You ever see Old Yeller, Monsoon? I love a good comedy.”
11. “The main difference between Boss Man and his Mother is the beard. His Mother’s is much thicker.”
12. “She should get arrested for impersonating a lampshade.”
13. “If they made brass knuckles legal, it wouldn’t be cheating!”
14. “Next week I’ll be on the Cartoon Network with pictures of your last date.”
15. “The biggest difference between kids and dogs is that you can’t put kids down. It’s illegal.”