Month: July 2011

3 Philly Funnymen You Absolutely, Positively Should Be Following on Twitter

It seems like the people whose tweets I enjoy the most also have the fewest people enjoying their tweets. It goes to show what a s**tshow twitter is. Whereas 8.3 million people are apparently fascinated by Kim Kardashian (latest tweet: “I learned so much about couture today!”), most of the funniest, most talented standups in Philly only have a couple hundred followers, if that. Well putting them on this site ain’t exactly gonna make them famous, but that’s not the point. The point is that if you are a fan of my quizzes and my sense of humor, then I think you’ll get a kick out of picking up what these guys are putting down. So each day this week I’ll post 3 new people who write my favorite accounts. And if you’ve got any recommendations for people I should be following, please post on facebook or in the comments. Oh, and if you wanna follow me on twitter, just click here. For day 1, I’ve got 3 of the funniest guys on twitter.

John Kensil. Completely off-key and hilarious. He once told me, “Never go for the first joke that comes to mind. Always go with the second one.” Thus his strange and zany twitter account, where his jokes never tend to end where you think they will. Here’s a sample:

I broke my nose watching womens soccer. The phone rang and my pants were around my ankles.

It’s so hot this morning I just saw a kid making tar angels in the street. Oh wait a minute. Breakdancing? No scratch that. It’s a seizure.

The Octomom had a flash mob in her uterus.

Jim Grammond. Edgy, hilarious, and clever. A former member of MAGMA from back in the day turned very funny comedian.

A lot of people forget that desegregation halved business for a lot of hardworking, honest water fountain makers.

These Tropical Starburst make me feel I’m relaxing in an island paradise that’s littered with Starburst wrappers and contains my work desk.

Going to Wildwood for the day because I want to dodge roving packs of trashy kids on wooden planks rather than sidewalks.

Chip Chantry. Just as hilarious online as he is in person. But don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want him to know that I think he’s funny.

Fireworks are like pornography: Professional ones are prettier, but amateur ones are way more fun.

Justin Timberlake & partners just purchased MySpace for $35 million. In a related story, Joey Fatone bought a futon off of craigslist.

Tone Loc pleads not guilty to domestic violence charge, stating “That’s what happens when bodies start slappin'”.

I’ll be back tomorrow with 3 more Philly funnymen.

Let’s Relive Our Childhoods Next Week

The Denver style quiz was weird. There were some things I liked about it and some things I didn’t. I liked the fact that you could blow it on one topic and still have a chance to win, and I liked the audio rounds. Those of you who didn’t play Thursday (and that was most of you. Where the hell was everybody on Thursday?) missed a damn good music round. Here’s a sample of what you missed. What did you think of the Denver style quiz? Vote here.

Next week we’re going to start acting like adults, with our “Cartoons, Comics, and Kid’s Stuff” week. There will be plenty of questions about the things that you were into when you were a kid, whether you were a child of the 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s. Video games, board games, cereals, Saturday morning cartoons, Barbie dolls, etc.

We’ll also have an “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” style round, with my mom writing questions she’s asked her 4th graders through the years. And of course child stars. Lots and lots of child stars. This is gonna be a good one. Oh, and speaking of cartoons, Koob and Kristy will be hosting an all-Simpsons quiz on Monday at Chenango.

There are rumors that I’ll be hosting a regular quiz in the Art Museum/Fairmount area in the near future. Are they true?

And JGTSI scores coming Monday. There are two weeks left to get your team in the mix and represent Philly in the City vs. City Smackdown. Otherwise, you’ll have to take your chances on Wild Card Week, where to earn an invite you’ll either have to win that week or perform some damn hard physical challenges. You’ve got until Monday to earn 6 points via a very easy physical challenge. If you wanna earn an invite to the most important quizzo in Philadelphia’s history, 6 quick points can get you right in the thick of things.

 

All New Denver Style Quiz Tonight for French Fry Thursday

After two days, I have to say the thing I like most about the Denver quiz is that I’ve only got to host it for one more night. Don’t get me wrong. I get the impression that people like playing it. But hosting it is another matter. Grading 8 rounds? Writing 64 questions? When did quizzo become hard labor? I might as well get a real job.

A few things to note. First off, I think tonight’s quiz will be slightly easier than the earlier quiz. That McDonald’s round turned out almost impossible. But the music round will still be hard, since it has to be, since Denver has joker rules that don’t make any damn sense.

We start at Ugly American at 8 p.m. $1 corn dogs, $3 Lagers. On to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. UA was bumpin last week, but Bards was kind of quiet. If you are hoping to get on the JGTSI scoreboard, I think you should probably get the squad together tonight. We’re coming up on crunch time, and you don’t want to take your chances on Wild Card Week (to be explained soon). Also, I went to Spike’s today to look at trophies. The City vs. City Smackdwon Trophy is gonna be sweet. I’m also thinking about getting one for next Sunday’s sports quiz (July 24th). That’s gonna be at City Tap House. Details coming soon.

Tonight: Denver Quiz is…Interesting

An interesting first ever night with the strangely styled quiz. Packed house at O’Neals, things still fairly quiet at CTH. The quiz is a little bit harder than usual, but it’s a much different quiz. There are 64 questions, so there will be no perfect scores. It seemed to move fairly quickly, only slightly longer than my typical quiz, which was surprising since music rounds usually tend to take a while. I get the impression that most people in Philly are bigger fans of the JGT- style quiz, but it’s a fun experiment. There are some things I like better than my quiz (more theme rounds, which are easier to do when all questions are worth the same), and some things I like better about mine (easier to keep track of leaderboard, as you’ll always know how more or less what you’ll need to do to catch up in the final round.) But it’s fun to try something new, and it will give our teams that qualify a taste of how the Smackdown is gonna go.

Anyways, we do Denver style again tonight. First at the Vous. Always tough competition, and always awesome drink specials. Action starts at 6:15. $2 PBRs and $3 Dundee Brown bottles. On to the Black Sheep. 8 p.m. 3 different winners in the past 3 weeks. Is this your week?

Oh, and in case you hadn’t noticed yet, there is a new facebook physical challenge. At the ballpark or the beach. A good way to earn some points. Oh, and a rules change. You gotta play at least once to qualify for the Invitational. (Pong and Jenny, I’m looking at you.)

Big Money Tuesday Kicks Off Geeks Who Drink Rules Week

All different rules at quizzo this week, and you trivia junkies should be pleased…64 questions instead of our normal 44. Action starts tonight at O’Neals, where we’ve had a remarkable 7 different winners in the past 7 weeks. On to the City Tap House at 10:15 p.m. Things have been way quiet there lately. If you are looking to score yourself some points in the JGTSI, that’s where you want to play. Not to mention that the winner walks with $100 gift certificate. And with not many teams playing, this next month before the bane of Philly’s existence Penn kids return will be your best shot to walk with big money. Hope to see ya tonight!