OK, so I think this is my funniest one in a while. It’s a write up about the old Christmas classic the Twelve Days of Christmas, and what ridiculous gifts people receive on those days. Special tip of the cap o Steve-O, who gave me the idea. But wait, was the song actually a code written by persecuted Catholics? Snopes investigates.
Month: December 2008
Happy Birthday Mos Def
Happy 35th to one of my all time favorite rappers, Mos Def.
Quizzo Tonight
Locust Rendezvous at 6:15, followed by the Black Sheep at 8:15. See ya then. In the meantime, here’s a couple things I wrote over at totalphilly: The Inquirer truck was stolen and the World Series Trophy is going on display this weekend, but the Stanley Cup is cooler.
Anybody heard any good music lately?
I’m always looking for good new tunes to download and play at quizzo. Anybody heard anything good lately? If so, leave it below.
Dmitri the Lover Speaking Tonight in Toronto
A man named Dimitri the Lover teaches men how to use his tricks to seduce women, and he’s speaking tonight in Toronto. This is one of those random things I just kind of stumbled onto after Steve-O sent me this link, to Dmitri leaving messages for a girl in San Francsico. (WARNING: Women, if you listen to this message, you will be helpless against Dimitri’s irresistable charms. He finds you extremely elegant. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.) Anyhow, I did some more research and came across this, an invitation to a speech Dimitri is giving tonight in Toronto. A few highlights: So the theme of our next TORONTO REAL MEN meeting is “STUFF MY STOCKING WITH HO HO HO’s”. It will feature Dimitri The Lover lecturing for 3 solid hours on WHERE to find depressed holiday sluts and HOW to approach them in a cordial yet efficient manner. Dimitri The Lover will teach you how to DETECT bored, lonely, highly impressionable shoppers, CHARM them by employing an approach which takes advantage of their “holiday blues”, SEDUCE them through the utilization of proven techniques that he has developed over time, then sexually ENSLAVE them through the employment of magical religious thought protocols.
My magical religious thought protocols have been unemployed for a little too long. Ok, so then I stumbled onto his Toronto real men website. Apparently, you have to get certified through his class and you will become a great lover and he will give you business cards saying you are certified. According to his website, his Worship the C*ck workshop courses are only $2997. What a bargain! But if you just wanted to attend tonight’s meeting, it’s only $29, and if I had a ride to Toronto, I would so be there.
UPDATE: Uh-oh. Be careful around Dimitri. He’s had some run-ins with the law and sounds a little unstable.
Quizzo Tonight
Gonna be kind of light posting this week. Working on a project for Comcast which should be fun but is going to take a lot of work in the next few days, so somethings got to go. However, I am still posting on Totalphilly, so you can go over there if you want to read about the former Penn QB who might be coming to the Phils or about the 15 year old kid who wanted to shoot up his school in Pottstown. There will be quizzo tonight. O’Neals at 8 p.m. and Bards at 10. Hope to see ya tonight.
Question of the week
Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested on Tuesday. It’s nothing new in Illinois. The man he replaced as Governor in 2003 is currently in prison after being convicted for racketeering and fraud. Who is he?
Real Quick
Gotta couple of meetings this afternoon (with FOX and Comcast, no less. What happened to the idealistic young firebrand who read Noam Chomsky and railed against The Man? I am such a sellout.) In the meantime, here are ten great TV ads for infomercial type stuff.
Bowlizzo a Striking Success
The first ever Bowlizzo went exceedingly well, despite the fact that Sofa Kingdom (AKA Spiro Agnew Kids on the Block, as all team names had to deal with either bowling or Richard Nixon) emerged victorious with a 239. They were aided by not only their trivia skill but by Koob’s bowling, as he had the 2nd highest roll of the night. The Tricky Dick Pins finished 2nd with 228, and RIchard Nixon’s Putting Challenge finished 3rd with 225. The Putting Challenge had the highest bowling average of the night, a 125, aided in large part by one team member’s 212. The real story of the night was 4th place finishers I Am Not a Hook, who had the highest quizzo score with a 118, but the 3rd lowest bowling score, a 90. Bowling scores were done by averaging the scores of all six players on the team, and total scores were determined by adding that to their quizzo scores. The lowest bowling score was an 82 recorded by Tricky Dick and the Dickettes, and the lowest total was I Don’t Roll on Shabbos with 173. Full scores after the jump.
Scoreboard, Brought to you by Camper van Beethoven
O’NEALS
- We Got Nothin’ 83
- Why is John’s Rum Gone 80
- Free shots at Applebees 79
- This is Not a Bus 76
- Young, Old, and Restless 71
BARDS
- Sofa Kingdom 105
- Re-Sign Pat 57
- Sloppy Seconds 54
- Dave’s Angels 50
- IDK, my BFF Jess? 48
LOCUST RENDEZVOUS
- The Jams 92
- But My Mom Says I’m Cool 84
- Accidental Gunshot Wounds 81
- Troll Toll 78
- Trust Us We Know 61
BLACK SHEEP
- That Team 98
- Sexual Chocolate 88
- Duane’s World 86
- Bollywood Dance Massacre 82
- Baron Munchausen 80
BARDS
- Hurtin Bombs 94
- Christina’s World 91
- Us and Them 91
- Extra Large Popcorn 86
- Dynamic Duo 81