Bob T. was kind enough to inform me about the recent Bulwer-Lytton Writing Contest, where the goal was to write the worst opening sentence to a non-existent novel. Well, I am going to run our own little Philly contest in a somewhat similar fashion.
I am hereby offering Two tickets to the Academy of Natural Sciences and a $20 gift certificate to the Bards for whoever writes worst opening sentence to a non-existent novel (I’ll give a little leeway for an extra sentence, but total must be 75 words or less). 2nd place gets a $10 certificate to O’Neals. Historical fiction, sci-fi, romance novel, whatever. But here’s the twist: Your sentence must include the words “Alf Landon”. Alright, just send your opening sentence to me by Monday, September 15th at 5 p.m., and we’ll post them and vote next week. I’ll start us off with mine.
Alf Landon looked across the plains, the vast magnificent plains, and dipped his spoon into his Tapioca pudding.