JGT addresses rumors that didn’t exist until he just made them up

Yes, I was in New York over the weekend. Had a great time. Went to a speakeasy type bar called Milk and Honey (which had some interesting house rules) on Saturday and last night went to Upright Citizens Brigade show. Even saw that giant tree at Rockefeller Center. I did not spend time with Booker and Alycia Lane while I was in New York, nor was I part of the couple that was allegedly in the cab with Alycia and Booker. Nor did I try to set Booker up by planting that slow cop car there in an effort to get him arrested so I could take his lady while he was behind bars, only to see my devious yet brilliant plan backfire horribly when the lovely Alycia allegedly took out that cop with an uppercut. That is a ridiculous rumor and I don’t even know where you heard it from, but it’s absurd. Oh, and a quick question: If the cop she allegedly called a “f****** dyke” before she allegedly punched is in fact a lesbian, does this become a hate crime?

RELATED: Dyke cop gets what’s coming to her.

UPDATE: Holy hell, Joey Sweeney at Philebrity already asked a lawyer if this constitutes a hate crime. Geesh, I thought I was just joking.

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