Month: October 2007

JGT Almost catches a beatdown at Halloween Party

Steve O. hooked me up with a ticket to the Zee Bar’s annual Halloween party, and I headed over there on Saturday night. It was filled with beautiful women and a lot of toolbag type guys wearing outfits that revealed how awesomely ripped they were. That included a group of guys who went as SWAT team that was sitting at a booth. At one point in the evening, a young lady said, “Come with me to my friends’ booth.”

Now, if there is anything more toolish than getting bottle service at a party where the alcohol is free I’d love to know what it is. But this team of totally ripped SWAT team guys had done just that, spending over $100 on a bottle of booze at a free booze party. Amazing.

By the time I got to their booth, all of the booze was gone, but a few of them were looking at me disgustedly. Finally, one of the guys goes, “You’re not with our group. Get the f*** out of here. You’re not f****** with us!” He glared at me angrily. Now, keep in mind that as this guy is getting all fired up at me for daring to sit at his booth, I am dressed as Pee Wee Herman. I thought about it for a second, and realized that if I started to fight this guy and Andy Reid (aka Steve O.) joined in, it would be one of the greatest C-celebrity Halloween stories ever. But Steve was nowhere to be seen, and there were four of them, so I figured that discretion would be the better part of valor.

I headed out, but not before chiming in, “Well, I guess I’ll just be going then” a la Pee Wee at the Private Club of the Satan’s Helpers. I looked over a few minutes later, and the head toolbag had his head in his hands. Apparently that bottle service booze had gotten the best of him. Or maybe he just felt bad for kicking out Pee Wee. 

Continue reading “JGT Almost catches a beatdown at Halloween Party” →

The Donspiracist Presents: Are there reptiles among us

conspiracy.jpg
It just wouldn’t Halloween w/o hearing from the Donspiracist. He wonders if, perhaps, humans can transform into lizards.
Shapeshifters have captivated human imagination for much of recorded history. Think of the vampires that turn into bats, the men that turn into wolves, demons that can transform into anything that scares us most. The fascination seems to lie in the notion of one thing changing into another, the same idea that drives alchemy. To believe such a thing, one must presuppose the existence of the supernatural and a type of physics that allows a human to change into some other, often animal shape. To my knowledge, science has not disproved either one.

I know its Halloween, and werewolves should be on the agenda, but I’d rather turn my attention to a different kind of shapeshifter: the reptilian.

David Icke was the first writer to popularize for modern audiences the human that can shapeshift into a reptilian being. In Icke’s view, the reptilians came to our planet eons ago, and they remain to rule our planet, only in disguise. He traces certain distinct human lineages back to Babylon. These families exist today in the shape of our ruling classes. You know many of their names: Rothschild, Rockefeller, Kennedy, Bush, and almost all the royalty of Europe. Many of these families are related to each other, and in convincing style, Icke demonstrates how most world leaders are linked to these bloodlines in one way or another. That includes most U.S. Presidents.

Continue reading “The Donspiracist Presents: Are there reptiles among us” →

JGT Has Rhyme Battle with MIddle School Oratorical Rival

l_0c7b86df5b48f7ad8b0c6b8f332ffe65.jpg
JD Outten (above, with son), whom I spoke about earlier this week because he took honorable mention in a middle school oratory contest that I deserved to win, answered back in the comments section with a poem of his own:
The Broadwater Gym Lights, have seen great sights,
But the greatest they ever did see:
was long before SARS
and a poem about Mars
And I defeated Johnny G. T.

In true East Coast/West COast fashion, I have answered with a poem of my own:

I’d memorized every line of that confounded rhyme
About a raven as black as dark fudge is
So when they announced that JD
Had defeated JGT
I knew he must have paid off the judges.

Fun Halloween stuff

jack-o-lantern1.jpg
-Danny Lloyd, who played the young boy in The Shining, is currently a biology teacher in Louisville. He didn’t know he was acting in a horror movie until years later.

-Do yourself a favor and a story by the greatest horror writer ever today, Edgar Allen Poe.

-Harry Houdini died on Halloween, 1926, after some dude at McGill University punched him in the stomach. Perhaps not coincidentally, my ex-girlfriend (named, appropriately enough, Elvira) went to McGill University. The lesson: If you are a quizmaster, magician, or some other novelty profession, steer clear of McGill students and alumni.

-The jack o’lantern originated in Ireland. But they carved their jack’s outta turnips. Here’s some more Halloween fun facts.

-Ladies are dressing quite revealingly at Halloween these days. Are these outfits perpetuating stereotypes about certain professions (naughty nurse, tough cop, etc.)? And here’s an article in last years NY Times about the current trend of, ahem, revealing outfits. What do you guys think? Slutty outfits: harmless fun or a sign of the decay of the Western World?

What classic movie should I watch?

Alright, gang, time to pick a movie for this weekend. I have never seen any of the following. Yes, I know I’m the only person alive who never saw A Few Good Men. For those of you who keep telling me to watch 12 Angry Men, I’ll put it back in a poll soon and see if it fares any better. Whichever movie has the most votes by Friday at 5 pm is the one I’ll be watching.

My review for Dr. Strangelove

dr-strangelove.jpg
Dr. Strangelove was certainly a lot of fun, though I can’t say that I found it downright hilarious and I certainly don’t think it’s one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. I thought the film was almost as much of a farce as a satire, especially when Slim Pickens rode the bomb, which was just silly. As for Dr. Strangelove, I found him amusing but not hilarious. The Mein Fuhrer stuff was more provocative than funny. And George C. Scott’s character was a little too over the top. (Of course, he was a little over the top for Scott’s taste, too. During his takes, Kubrick told Scott that he wouldn’t use some overacted “practice” scenes and then ended up using them in the final cut anyway. Scott swore he would never work with Kubrick again.) But it was a fun ride, and a good pick.

Keep in mind that when I am grading these films, I am grading them against other classic movies, not against typical films. I give Dr. Strangelove a C, well worth watching but certainly not as good as my favorite Kubrick film, Full Metal Jacket.

Around the Horn, brought to you by Clams

clams_on_beach_lg.jpg
-I took a friend to Astral Plane a few months ago on their final weekend b/c she’s a foodie and I wanted to show her one of my favorite restaurants before it closed. Well, now it’s reopening-sort of.

-SInce I’ve been on a Canada kick lately, here’s your chance to learn a little bit about Halifax. (NSFW due to cussin’). Funny stuff.

–Scientists discover 400 year old clam, which raises the question: did this clam kill Christopher Marlowe?

-The “Are they Porn Stars or Fox Business Anchors round”? (SFW) I got a 9 out of 10. Does that mean that I know my FOX anchors…or my porn?

-Coming this afternoon: my Halloween adventure (which included some jackass in a swat team outfit kicking me out of his table) and my review of Dr. Strangelove.