Around the Horn, brought to you by Etch-a-Sketch Magic Johnson

-Apparently the EZ Bake Oven has become an incinerator of death and destruction, so it’s getting recalled. Wow, and here I thought an oven for two year olds to bake things was a good idea.

-Remember how when you were a kid and you saw those secret rooms on Scooby Doo and totally wished your house had a “secret room”? And then remember how when you got older you wished you could spend all your free time doing drugs with hookers? Well, this guy made both of his dreams come true! If you can believe it, you can achieve it!

A nuclear reactor in New Jersey leaks some radiation. Tragically, it doesn’t kill any Jerseyites.

-As people continue to be justifiably outraged at Michael Vick’s crimes against animals, keep in mind that our vice president also enjoys participating in animal cruelty.