Photo lands JGT in trouble with Fiancee, Crips

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A photo of JGT that surfaced on the AP wire this morning has Johnny’s fiancee angry, as well as leaders of LA street gang the Crips. “Johnny’s fiancee, who finds him very attractive and thinks he has a great sense of humor, was not pleased when she saw photos of him seeming to enjoy a beer with another female after Tuesday night quizzo,” said a friend of the couple who asked not to be identified. “When she saw the photo, Johnny fiancee said that he had ‘humiliated himself’ and then called him a couple of names I’d rather not repeat. Johnny ran from the room crying like a little girl. His fiancee is furious, but she still finds Johnny very handsome and charming. She loves tie dye.”

Meanwhile, Lamar “Knuckles” Jackson of the Crips was not pleased with the photo either. “I am a big fan of Johnny’s website,” said Knuckles, who lives in Compton, CA. “I find it both informative and entertaining. But I am concerned by the fact that JGT seems to be a fan of our arch rivals, the Bloods. If you see Johnny,” Knuckles continued while pulling a sawed off shotgun out of his closet, “Please ask him to reconsider his affiliations. I hear Southwest is flying onto Philly these days, and their prices are very reasonable.”

McCain in Philly

Anybody for gettting up early on Saturday and going down to the Constitution Center? This looks pretty kool. From the Inky. Smerconish is kind of an idiot, but it would be nice to hear McCain, who I am a fan of.
Saturday morning, before the Army-Navy game, radio talker Michael Smerconish is bringing in one of his idols, Sen. John McCain (R., Ariz.) – he’ll be rooting for Navy – for a town-hall meeting (topics: state of the nation, war in Iraq, the 2008 presidential race, the usual). The event starts at 9 a.m. at the National Constitution Center. The $12.10 ticket price (after his station, WPHT-1210) goes to the USO and includes admission to the center’s exhibits. (Reservations: 215-409-6700.)

Question

A friend of mine the other day, when I mentioned that we were gonna show Spinal Tap on Monday, said “That’s one of those things that I feel like I’m supposed to like but don’t like.” I’ve heard in the past people say things like, “I don’t like the Beatles” or “I hate Bob Marley.” For me, I think it’s Old School. Everybody thinks that movies hilarious, but I never really laughed much at all during it. I also hate the band Phish, though 8 years ago all of my friends thought it was the best thing to ever happen to music, and I don’t care much for the Grateful Dead. What about you guys? What are things you are supposed to like but don’t? Post below.

Philly Mag, Scared of Being labeled ‘Pertinent’, Resorts to Cliche Handbook

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As I reported, Philly Mag last month had a very impressive cover story about the murder rate in our city, and for a fair second I thought the Mag might actually start writing about stuff that people off the Main Line care about. Well, they nipped that notion in the bud, trotting out the lamest cliche in the book this month. A cover story on (are you ready for this?) Rocky. Whoa! But wait, it gets worse. I actually decided to give the story, written by GQ writer Andrew Corsello, a try. Big mistake, b/c a few paragraphs in, I came upon this: “You’re famous for your rotteness, you people.” Oh God, here we go…”You’re the ones who pelted Jimmy Johnson with snowballs.” Are we supposed to be ashamed of this? Jimmie Johnson is a douchebag, and if I saw him on a snowy street, I’d hit him with a snowball today. “You’re the ones who drove Mitch Williams to hermitude in Siberia or Katmandu or wherever he was sent to atone in silent prayer.” Siberia? Nice fact checking job. Yeah, we were so mean to Mitch that he moved all the way to South Jersey, where he lives now…“the ones who booed McNabb on draft day.” OK, so fair enough. That was stupid. Just end it there. You’ve got us beat, you made your point, just as long as you don’t bring up…”the ones who rained boos and snowballs on Santa at Franklin Field.” You did not just take it there. “Santa, for Christ’s sake!” Yes you did. Way to deliver a punchline that ESPN delivers every single friggin’ week. I guess you proved that Rocky isn’t the lamest cliche in the book. The Santa snowball debacle is. You miraculously outcliched your own story, which was almost impossible to do. I knew that the TV show Hack took place in Philadelphia, but I didn’t know it was based on your writing.

Spinal Tap Tonight

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We’re gonna be turning it up to 11 tonight at the Trocadero (1003 Arch) with one of the most kickass movies of all time, Spinal Tap! A very special Wheel of Terrific kicks things off at 7:30 p.m. Hope to see you there!

The Hawaii Quiz

Well, it was 6 years ago this week that I moved back to the mainland after a 3 year stint in the Hawaiian Islands. So I’m gonna post last weeks winners with a question about Hawaii. Post your answers in the comments section below the stories. One guess per person.