Johnny’s mom drops explosive new conspiracy theory about Pluto

So I’m talking to my mom last night, and she says, “I signed your Pluto thing,” which was sweet, because she was one of like three people who signed it (other than the boob who wrote “Gregory Goodtimes, Norbert Nicetimes, Albert Awesometimes, etc.”). Then she said, “This is so stupid. You know what this is? This is just a ploy to sell more science textbooks.” But of course! It makes perfect sense. If they take Pluto out of the solar system, every single science textbook in America will need to be replaced, at a cost of billions of dollars (total, not each). And how many dollars does Pluto pump into our economy? Zero. So there you have it. Mrs. Goodtimes has exposed the dark underbelly of this Machivallian plot*!

*I have no idea what that means, but it sounds really kool.