Controversy erupted, as it seems to every week, after last nights Quizzo at Nick’s Roast Beef. In overtime, the Plaster of Paris Hilton won second place (Worth $25) when one of their team members was able to spell Baryshnikov correctly. However, it was discovered early this morning after a thorough investigation that the man who spelled the great dancer’s name correctly was none other than the world renowned Krazylegs Kruschev, who danced with Mikhail at the Russian School of Ballet from 1969-1973! The picture below, taken in 1972, clearly proves it! The Johnny Goodtimes Ethical Committee is looking into any possible improprieties. A spokesman for third place finisher Coochie Kream said that the team was “piping mad.”

The Cousin F@%&’ Monkeys blew past the competition in Round Four of Wednesday night’s Quizzo at Nick’s Roast Beef. The Monkeys,
a collection of one woman and three lonely men who struggle to keep their fires lit and cabins warm, were able to come out on top on a hoary night at Nick’s. Plaster of Paris Hilton was able to win second in overtime, moving past the Coochie Kream.

Troy McClure (who you may remember from such films as “Quizmaster and Commander” and “The Quizard of Oz”) swung by Doc Watson’s after round two on Monday, and helped catapult The Troy McClures from last place to first, knocking off Quizzle in the Hizzle, 90-89. “Having Troy McClure show up was a real boost,” said team leader Chuckie Needlebump. “He’s got this sense of confidence that just rubs off on the rest of the team.”

The Jams were able to squeak by the Bullies as Frank Clements hottest rivalry heated up again at Centre Square Bar and Grille. The Bullies, who had joined forces with once bitter enemies Dewey and Howe, were one letter away from spelling Baryshnikov right, which would have given them the title. Instead the Jams came away with the 95-93 win.

Here are the Four hottest teams on the Johnny G. Quizzo Circuit:

1. The Missing Heads (Pictured below) have won four straight at the Black Sheep, and were only one question away froma perfect score last week.
2. S2 has won three straight at O’Neals.
3. Would You Eat Them has won two straight at the Bards, becoming the first team to repeat at 20th and Walnut.
4. The Sulfur Clams got a phone call from George Bush after a 6th place finish two weeks ago, then moved all the way up into fifth place
   
   

The Nation of Quizlam was able to squeeze past the Atari Monkeys on Wednesday at Nick’s Roast Beef, 92-89. But they wouldn’t have been able to do it without their friends-from the rap group N.W.A.! “That MC Ren is a lot smarter than people give him credit for,” said team leader Otis “Silver” Spoons. “And Ice Cube knows a lot about state capitols, which paid off in the wildcard round.” But it was Eazy E who really came through in round four, scoring the bonus question right and taking the team over the top. “The Boys N Da Hood are not only hard,” continued Otis, “But they’re smart as well!”

Dewey, Bully, and Howe were able to squeak past the Consultants in the first ever Quizzo at Centre Square Bar and Grille, 95-94. Shortly after the contest, DB & H received a telegraph from the 1903 Boston Pilgrims, who won the first ever World Series. “They just said that they knew how we were feeling, both being the winner of huge inaugural events and all,” said DB & H member Rollie Cornwright. “They also said that they would buy us a round, but they can’t because they’re all dead.”

The Whiskey Lou Rebellion, playing in honor of a favorite judge who recently passed away, were able to rip the monkey from their backs in convincing fashion on Monday, fighting off the Moe Syslack Experience, 91-86. The Rebellion, who had won the first quizzo they had participated in, months ago, and had not won since, were relieved to get a win. “Those monkeys were poorly behaved. They would hurl their own feces, screech through the night, and stab me with their swords,” said team member Sal Alamo. “I’m glad that’s all done with.”

What is the Blood Type of the Universal Blood Donor?