I live for this stuff. This kitty jacket is on sale on eBay, with the current bid at $59. Now why would a hideous sweater be fetching such a high price? Because of it’s magical powers. Here are some of the amazing things that happened after the current owner bought the jacket:
I went into the kitchen to get a drink and shake off the dream, but tripped in the living room and fell on my face. I turned on the light and there was an original Nintendo set up to my TV. I sold my Nintendo years ago to buy a 89 Upper Deck Ken Griffey rookie card. How did this NES get there? I can’t say for certain, but I’m pretty sure the Kitty Jacket had something to do with it. So I turned it on and played. Mario had the Tanooki suit on and couldn’t lose it despite getting hit by the fire spitting flowers. I beat the game finally all these years later! In the morning the NES was gone!
I had a pickup basketball game that night and scored my triple double. I even dunked once on a guy who’s 9 inches taller than I am. Having this new found courage, I tempted fate and jumped a shark tank on my motorcycle. I successfully cleared the tank and gave a rousing speech afterwards to a huge crowd by the side of the tank. Three months later, people still remind me how that speech changed their lives.
But it does come with a disclaimer: Who knows what powers the jacket will bring the lucky winner of the auction? Yes I did get it on with the ladies, and yes I did get to sit front row at the Grammy’s the other night. But that might not happen to you. Apple iPhones 3G networks did browse faster when I wore the jacket and gas prices went down in my neighborhood, and the Celtics won the 2008 NBA championship but that might not happen to you.