Scoreboard, Brought to You by Swine Flew

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O’NEALS

  1. Dorksided 112
  2. Same Name as Last Week 108
  3. Tooth WInd and Fire 99
  4. Where’s John’s Rum Gone 92
  5. Hutch 75

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 115
  2. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 102
  3. Hurtin Bombs 96
  4. Ottoman Empire 83
  5. How Bout Dem Bulls 75

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. Quiz on Your Face 102
  2. This is Not a Bus 93
  3. Silence is Golden, Girls 86
  4. Buy me a Bar 85
  5. Barstool Racers 84

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Duane’s World 105
  2. Catdog 100
  3. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 83
  4. Unusual Suspects 77
  5. No Thrill w/o Bill 74

BARDS

  1. Bards is My 2nd Favorite Bar 95
  2. Yes You Can’t 93
  3. Grand Theft Auto 73
  4. I’ll Take Swine Flu 66
  5. Schrute Farms 65

Today in the Metro

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Today’s column is about my bitterness towards Trivia Art, and how I am above shameless pandering. It was inspired when Art sent me an email telling me to eat a free cupcake above the fridge that he had gotten for free. I suddenly realized I was the person you give hand-me-down cupcakes to, which is a tough pill to swallow, even for “America’s Guest”. This column is very big of me, and an opportunity for you to appreciate how much integrity I have.

Quizzo News and Notes

Quizzo tonight at the Rendezvous at 6:15 and the Black Sheep at 8 p.m. I think this week’s quiz is a little easier than usual, to be honest, but I think it’s kinda fun. The Jams and Duane’s World both got knocked off last week. Will they bounce back tonight? We’ll find out soon. See ya tonight! Oh, and if you can’t make it out, check out the General Knowledge Quiz on Comcast On Demand. Find out how much you know about booze. Go to Comcast On Demand>>Free Movies>>Scene It Trivia>>General Knowledge Quiz.

Happy Birthday Tommy James

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Crimson and Clover, by birthday boy Tommy James, has always been one of my favorite songs. James was the lead singer of the Shondells, who also had a hit with the song “I Think We’re Alone Now” (pre Tiffany). Funny story. When I was living in Hawaii, me and my friends used to always go to the restaurant where my girlfriend waited tables (Durty Jakes) for karaoke night. Me and a buddy of mine would sometimes do a duet of “I Think We’re Alone Now”, complete with us tumbling to ground and doing a Kid ‘n’ Play dance. Well, one night after we performed it, an older gentleman walked up to us and said, “I was in the band that did that song, and I have never seen it performed like that in my life.” The guy had been a member of the Shondells in the early days of the band. I asked him, “Did you do Crimson and Clover?” Sadly, no. He said that he had left the band before Crimson and Clover came out. It was the highlight of my music career until Eve said that “White boy got skills” after I dropped a few bars at an open mic at the 5 Spot about 6 years ago (true story.)

Government Alerting Public With “Old-Fashioned” PSAs


The government is going retro, trying to alert people to the dangers of swine flu in old fashioned PSAs like the one you see above, narrated by the same guy that narrated those films we had to watch in Driver’s Ed class about drinking and driving. “Dottie had a heart condition and she died” is one of my favorite lines ever uttered in a Public Service Announcement. Oh, and remember to get duct tape and plastic to guard against dirty bombs, and a gas mask to protect you from SARS.

New Thursday Night Quizzo at…The Ugly American!

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That’s right kids. I’m heading down south to The Ugly American, located on Front and Federal Street. If you haven’t been there yet, check it out. You’re gonna like it. Great food, great beer selection (lots of local beers), and we’re hoping to have a Sly Fox promotion set up for quizzo soon. Not kicking off this Thursday, due to Dining Out for Life, but we will begin next Thursday, May 7 at 7:30 p.m. (Yeah, it starts a little earlier, ’cause it is no longer a short walk to the Bards.) I’m looking forward to checking out a new part of town, and your’e gonna like the beers and the food. (Don’t take my word for it, take Craig Laban’s. Should be a great addition to the empire.