The Phillies triple A team is called the Iron Pigs. So it came as no surprise that they decided to name their Pig mascot Pork Chop. But apparently they can’t do that, because the term pork chop offends a Puerto Rican guy who got called Pork Chop once at a construction site decades ago. So they changed the name of the mascot. Well, I’d like to lodge some complaints as well. The Phillie Phanatic has a big nose, and I find him offensive to people who have big noses. Also, the Sixers Mascot is named Hip Hop, and hip hop contains lyrics that are offensive to women. Do the Sixers hate women? Also, Drexel named its teams the Dragons. Dragons used to kill people by breathing fire on them. Does Drexel promote the incineration of humans? Apparently. Oh, and one more thing. Pork Chop, Pork Chop, Pork Chop, Pork Chop. Also, Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon. Sausage, sausage, sausage, sausage. I hope I offended some people with those words as well.

I’m heading out of the house to get the root canal done. Wish me luck. I’m really trying to be brave about this I really am. But if I don’t make it back, I just want you to know…I love you guys.

There are two different teams with bounties on their heads this week. The Sofa Kingdom has a bounty on their heads at the Bards (20th and Walnut, 10 p.m.) Tuesday night, and the Jams have a bounty on their heads at the Vous (Broad and Locust, 6:15 p.m.) on Wednesday night. $20 extra to any team that can beat either of them this week.

Gonna post pics of last weeks winners. Sorry so late, but I’m having some really frustrating technical problems at the home office these days. Really aggravating, but nothing a little therapy and laudanum can’t overcome. Anyways, Illinois became a state on this date in 1818, so all questions under the photos will be about Illinois.

The last guy to call himself Goodtimes didn’t turn out so well. Was just doing some reading over the weekend about strange disappearances (because, um, that’s the type of thing I do on the weekends.) And came across Goodtime Joe Crater. Crater disappeared in New York in 1930 after stumbling out of a bar with his mistress, who then vanished herself after talking to the cops. “Pulling a Crater” went into the common lexicon for disappearing without a trace, and the Golden Girls even used his name as a joke once. The story came back into the headlines a couple of years ago when his apparent killer was found. Pretty interesting stuff.

Jonathan Valania over at Phawker has been nice enough to post the full Wu-Tang album on his website. Just click “Phawker radio” in the top left hand corner and push play.