Wu-Tang Clan: Something to F*** With?

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Things are looking somewhat bleak for one of my favorite rap groups of all time. Apparently, Raekwon and Ghostface recently stated that the RZA (aka Bobby Digital, aka Prince Rakeem, aka Ruler Zig Zag Zig Allah) owes them some money. I like the first single off the album, the Heart Gently Weeps, but it sounds more like a chill out type song than something you should release as a single. Anyways the album comes out on December 11th (reviews I’ve seen have been pretty good), and there will be a documentary of the group next Tuesday at the Internatonal House at 7 p.m. in West Philly which sucks because I wanna see it and it’s only showing once. Then, the Wu wil be doing a show in Philly on January 10 which is a Thursday. Damn! I bought every damn album this group ever put out and they still schedule their stuff on Quizzo nights? That ain’t right.
RELATED: Wu-Tang Movie Details.

Bob T. Is Madder Than Hell

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A few weeks ago, I offered regular commenter Bob T. a column on this website so that he could spout off his right wing diatribes to an enormous audience. Well, a midsized audience. Ok, ok, so an audience consisting of you and Palestra Jon. Whatever. Bob T. has decided to start his column by tackling the Valerie Plame (That’s Valerie above, not Bob) affair. It’s a damn impressive column, I think. Bob might have even been sober when he wrote it. And it seems fitting that he started with a story about an undercover agent: Bob sent me this column thru an intermediary to protect his anonymity. I am not kidding. Enjoy.

In his State of the Union Address in January of 2003, George W. Bush had asserted that the Hussein regime attempted to procure uranium yellow cake from Niger — an assertion that would become known as “the sixteen words.” In July of 2003, shortly after the invasion of Iraq, former ambassador Joseph Wilson published an op-ed piece in the New York Times entitled “What I Didn’t Find in Africa.” This essay was highly critical of the Bush administration and asserted that during his fact-finding mission to Niger prior to the start of the war, Wilson had found no evidence that the Hussein regime had sought to procure uranium yellow cake. Shortly after publication of this article, Robert Novak published a piece in which he identified Wilson’s wife, Valerie Plame, as an employee of the CIA. Wilson then charged that the Bush administration had “outed” his wife, revealing her employment as a covert CIA agent, in a deliberate attempt to punish him for his criticism.

Well, here we had a “scandal” custom made for the mainstream media and their continuing obsession with the evil machinations of the Bush administration. Congressional hearings were held, the New York Times piously editorialized. Wilson announced at one point that he looked forward to seeing “Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs.” Ultimately, a U.S. Attorney, Patrick Fitzgerald, was chosen as a Special Counsel to investigate this assumed violation of federal law — the statute in question being The Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982.

Unfortunately, some problems soon cropped up that began to subvert this pleasing anti-Bush-administration narrative with all its anticipated delights such as felony indictments, convictions, impeachment proceedings, etc. For one thing, Valerie Plame’s then current status with the CIA failed to meet the criteria for what constitutes “covert status.” While Plame had been employed years previously in covert status, her position at that time was as a CIA analyst. Anyone interested in Valerie Plame’s employment could have followed her to work and watched her drive into CIA headquarters in Langley, VA. (This is what’s known in intelligence lingo as “deep cover.”) Plame’s covert status had actually been exposed years previously by the notorious traitor and spy, Aldrich Ames. Her ability to serve as a covert agent hopelessly and permanently compromised, Valerie’s cloak and dagger days were long past by the time her husband published his article in the Times. There was no chance she could ever again be given a covert assignment.

Continue reading “Bob T. Is Madder Than Hell”

Happy B-Day Freddie Mitchell!

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Happy 29th birthday, First Down Freddie! Man, I miss this guy. The biggest smack talking non-factor in NFL history. Oh, and here’s a fun little Freddie fact: He played college baseball at UCLA with Chase Utley and introduced Chase to his future wife Jennifer. And I’d also like to take the opportunity to thank Eagles management for taking FredEx over Chad Johnson and Steve Smith. You think those guys woulda caught 4th and 26? Doubt it.

JGT Releases Rap Song!

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One of my New Years Resolutions was to record a rap song, and a few months ago I finally laid one down with my buddy Jimmy Fabs from Richmond on bass. He went home, got a young lady to lay down some background vocals and added a trumpet player, and here you have it: What’s Happenin’ by Johnny Goodtimes. There are a couple of cuss words, you know, just to keep it gangster. I think after hearing it, you’ll agree: I’m the best white boy rapper since Brian Austin Green.

Publisher of Philadelphia Magazine Disgusted by Philadelphia


I highly encourage you to read the opening page in this months Philadelphia Magazine. It is written by D. Herbert Lipson, whose family has published Philly Mag since 1946. It’s called “Off the Cuff”, and here are a few choice excerpts:

Philadelphians are ugly…what the world sees is the layer of crud over everything, including us. We’re not clean …or safe…I’ve been railing for a long time about how shabby we are, how Philadelphians present themselves poorly.

It gets better.

Not so long ago, a national high end retailer wanted to put a store on Walnut Street. A couple of executives drove down from New York one day, parked their limo on Walnut, and gazed out through tinted windows…at the slovenly crowd passing by. Then they drove back to New York, after coming to an easy decision: Philadelphia is not the place for high end retail.

Oh, no! We lost a chance to encourage a couple of blue blood aristocrats from New York to put a chain store on Walnut Street because we weren’t all dressed like we care what blue blood aristocrats from New York think of us? What is wrong with us? Why can’t we start living our lives to impress the obscenely wealthy?

We sometimes invite staffers down from Boston magazine…an they’re startled by what they see…we prance around in public like we’re walking the dog in our backyard.

We don’t just disgust New Yorkers, we also disgust those vanguards of taste and class, the Bostonians? How embarrassing! This isn’t the first time Lipson has blasted Philly while praising Boston. In an article written about him for his alma mater, we get this little gem: Boston magazine, he says, is classier than Philadelphia both in appearance and writing. That reflects Lipson’s opinions of the two cities.

There’s plenty more jewels in the write up: how disgusting Rittenhouse Park is, how he recently had lunch at the Palm, and how our lack of fashion is going to be difficult for the new Mayor to deal with. Now all of this would be pretty funny if Bobby Badtimes wrote it, but I don’t think D. Herbert is kidding. I think he really finds Philly to be a cesspool, and an embarrassment when compared to the crown jewel of haut couture, Boston. So shape up, Philadelphians! If you want your mag to get the classy treatment like Boston, you need to start wearing expensive suits and eating at the Palm and rooting for the Patriots.
RELATED: The Best of Statler and Waldorf.

Around the Horn, Brought to you by Cowboy Curtis

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Interview with Jeopardy Champ Celeste DiNucci

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As most of you know by now, Philadelphian Celeste DiNucci pulled off a spectacular run at the recent Jeopardy Tournament of Champions and came away with a $250,000 victory. An occasional quizzo player, I asked her about her experience on the show, how quizzo compares to Jeopardy, and about the rock star-like rager I assumed she had after her win.

JGT: First of all, congratulations, Celeste. Tell me, how intense is it to be up there with Alex, the bright lights, the cameras etc.?

Celeste: Well, not nearly so comfortable as sitting around a table in the Black Sheep or O’Neals, but it also seems to go by much more quickly.

JGT: How would you compare Jeopardy to quizzo, in terms of difficulty?

Celeste: Two totally different games, actually. Quizzo seems to be about scouring the corners of your brain for all of those inexplicably irrelevant yet interesting facts, whereas for Jeopardy, there’s more of a core of information that makes up the Jeopardy universe. You know that you’ll be asked about Shakespeare, you know that you’ll be asked about science, you know that you’ll be asked about some aspect of American history. And often you can sort of piece information from different areas together to come up with the right response.

JGT: Do you think that quizzo would be a good or bad study aide to someone who wanted to be on Jeopardy?

Continue reading “Interview with Jeopardy Champ Celeste DiNucci”

Scores this Week

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O’NEALS

  • Young, the Old, and the Restless 93
  • Close Enough For Government Work 85
  • Not Giving Thanks 82
  • Cornbread Mafia 77
  • Werewolf Bar Mitzvah 76

BARDS

  • Sofa Kingdom 99
  • Hurtin’ Bombs 95
  • Tom Turkey 95
  • Alec Trebek Runs Full Speed With a Boner 87
  • Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 86

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  • The Jams 104
  • River of Rocks 94
  • Can I Has a Cheeseburger? LOL 91
  • 1022 79
  • Tom and Kathleen 75

BLACK SHEEP

  • Satan’s Minions 92
  • Philly Softcore 91
  • F Ghandi, Squanto’s My Favorite Indian 91
  • Mayor’s Minions 86
  • The Kiddie Table 85