Steve O. hooked me up with a ticket to the Zee Bar’s annual Halloween party, and I headed over there on Saturday night. It was filled with beautiful women and a lot of toolbag type guys wearing outfits that revealed how awesomely ripped they were. That included a group of guys who went as SWAT team that was sitting at a booth. At one point in the evening, a young lady said, “Come with me to my friends’ booth.”
Now, if there is anything more toolish than getting bottle service at a party where the alcohol is free I’d love to know what it is. But this team of totally ripped SWAT team guys had done just that, spending over $100 on a bottle of booze at a free booze party. Amazing.
By the time I got to their booth, all of the booze was gone, but a few of them were looking at me disgustedly. Finally, one of the guys goes, “You’re not with our group. Get the f*** out of here. You’re not f****** with us!” He glared at me angrily. Now, keep in mind that as this guy is getting all fired up at me for daring to sit at his booth, I am dressed as Pee Wee Herman. I thought about it for a second, and realized that if I started to fight this guy and Andy Reid (aka Steve O.) joined in, it would be one of the greatest C-celebrity Halloween stories ever. But Steve was nowhere to be seen, and there were four of them, so I figured that discretion would be the better part of valor.
I headed out, but not before chiming in, “Well, I guess I’ll just be going then” a la Pee Wee at the Private Club of the Satan’s Helpers. I looked over a few minutes later, and the head toolbag had his head in his hands. Apparently that bottle service booze had gotten the best of him. Or maybe he just felt bad for kicking out Pee Wee.