Here’s the latest, a brief history of bowling.
Month: May 2007
Spare Me My Life
Japanese citizens are forced to watch this before taking a trip to Philadelphia.
The dumbest man in baseball
Cole Hamels flirted with a no-hitter last night. But, in typical fashion, Charlie Manuel pulled such a bonehead move that people have already forgotten about it and are instead pitching a fit, and rightfully so. With a 4 run lead and 12 pitchers to choose from, there was absolutely no need to use your closer, especially with a freaking day game tomorrow. Especially when that closer had pitched the last two games and 3 times in the last 4 days. Yeah, the other relievers are bad, but if they can’t protect a 4 run lead for one inning, they really shouldn’t be pitching in the major leagues. But Charlie used Myers, and will continue to use him until his arm wears out in September. Charlie Manuel knows as much about pitching as I do about stitching. But at least I’m not teaching a crochet class. The faithful commenters over at excellent Phillies blog Beerleaguer are as furious as I am. As were the guys at the Black Sheep I watched the game with. In fact, anyone who has watched more than 20 games of baseball in their life would do a better job of managing this team than this moron. My suggestion? It’s time to start going to games and chanting, “Joe Gir-ar-di!”
RELATED: The Inky gives 4 reasons why the Phils won’t fire Manuel.
Philly is smartest city in Western Hemisphere!!!
It looked like a cruise down Easy Street for the Kingdom and the city, as scores rolled in from across the continent in the City vs. City Smackdown. Philly was crushing everybody. That is, until the last scores were delivered. They were Denver’s scores, and they were the only city to even approach us. A team called the Denver Misfits finished with an imposing 138, losing to the Kingdom by only 4. As for city vs. city results, in which we take the top 5 scores and average them together, Philly again edged Denver, 124.4-115.6. No other city came close. Ottawa averaged a 100.8, edging Seattle, who averaged exactly 100. Washington D.C., the capital city of the United States, averaged a 93.6. We’ll have more team averages soon. There were teams in 8 cities competing: Chicago, Atlantic City, Baltimore, DC, Seattle, Denver, Ottawa, and Philly. Thanks to their narrow win, the Kingdom walks with $800 ($500 for beating Philly’s best teams at Rembrandt’s on Monday, and another $300 for beating those quizzo weak sisters across the nation.) MAGMA finished 2nd in Philly, 3rd overall, and waked with $250. We hope to do an even bigger one of these in the fall. May the trash talking commence! If you’d like to contact Denver, just click here. If you have a few choice words for DC, just click here. Here were the top 10 scores:
1. Sofa Kingdom-Philly 142
2. Denver Misfits-Denver 138
3. Magma-Philly 134
4. I am Curious George-Denver 129
5. Satan’s World-Philly 124
6. What’s the Soup du Jour-Philly 122
7. Reservoir Dogs-Philly 114
8. Plush Toy of the Apocalypse-Ottawa 112
9. Lactose Intolerant-Seattle 110
T-10. Sex Panther on the Beach Slaves to the Grind-Denver109
T-10. The DTC Combo-Denver 109
A requiem for Jerry
everything the guy stood for, seeing him swept up in the moment of a close basketball game and seeing a chubby 60-something guy rejoice in something so goofy, well, it was kind of cool.
RELATED: How Jerry Falwell changed religion and politics.
Still Waiting…
…on scores from Denver. As soon as I get them, I’ll let you know the finals. Ottawa hasn’t turned their scores in either, but hey, let’s face it, Ottawa isn’t going to challenge Philly.
Coming Wednesday!!!
Full City vs. City Smackdown results from across 9 cities in North America!!!
JGT Heading to Intercourse for Rhubarb Pie Festival
There are two things that will forever define my 2006: my enormous upset at the Rock Paper Scissors championship and me and Ken’s inspirational performance at the Intercourse Rhubarb Pie Bake-Off. It’s time to head back this year, as the festival is this weekend. Sadly Ken moved out west, so I need to find a new co-baker. Anyone, anyone? Anyways, regardless if you are baking or not, I highly suggest you attend the Rhubarb Festival. I’ve been two straight years, and it is without question one of my favorite local events. I love rhubarb. More on this event in the coming week.
Question of the week
In what movie do you hear the line, “Never rub another mans rhubarb”?
So the Bowling party went well
Yeah, after a particularly devastating loss, I drowned my sorrows with an inverted keg stand which, in hindsight, wasn’t an extremely brilliant idea. But I did last full 12 seconds. Not bad for an old veteran. I’ll have more about bowling in the Metro on Thursday.
The bowling party, by the way, was a remarkable success, as long as you don’t judge it by my success on the lanes. I quit angrily in the 8th frame of the first game, and only bowled a 103 in game #2. Nonetheless, I definitely think that there needs to be another bowling party in the near future.
