Well, I’ve never really heard anything good about Indianapolis, and everybody always gushes over how great Chicago is, so I got to wondering, let’s talk about what the best and worst cities in America are. And let’s start with worst. This is kind of a tough one. Charlotte sucks. It is a soulless corporate refuge filled with the lamest, most boring people on earth. Detroit is really awful (especially it’s hookers). It is filthy and scary and mean, and the winters must be brutal right there on the lake. But it does have three sports teams (well, two and a half), the Ford Museum, which is awesome, and it is the home of Motown. Dallas is reprehensible. Every bar and restaurant there is as big as the Wachovia Center, and they all look equally stupid, and the people there are just plain weird. Norfolk, VA, is awful as well. It like an enormous strip mall, as it consists of just one crappy fast food chain after another with a Pep Boys and Wal-Mart thrown in and here and there for miles and miles and miles straight. But I’m gonna go with Reno. Middle of nowhere, wanna be Vegas with nothing else to do besides gamble. And in my case, get a rash on my arm that didn’t go away for a month. And no, it didn’t come from Reno hookers.
