Johnny Goodtimes

This is it, folks. I’m up to 220 tickets sold. I’ll have tickets for sale tonight (Thursday) at quizzo at Ugly American. After that, it’s every man for himself. We’re going to sell out before Saturday night. So don’t wait until Saturday night to get your tickets! Come see me tonight at quizzo. If that isn’t possible and you want tickets, shoot me an email and we’ll see if we can work something out.

RELATED: Writeup on Quizzo Bowl VI on NBCPhiladelphia.com.

Tickets started flying off the shelves last night. We’re up to 190 sold, meaning there are a mere 110 left. If you are going to buy them, again I would encourage you to not wait until the day of the event. There is a very decent chance we will be sold out by then. Buy your tickets from me tonight at the Locust Rendezvous or tomorrow at Ugly American or the Bards. I can assure you I’ll have tix left at those two locations. After that, you’re on your own.

Ok, today is questions day. Working on Quizzo Bowl questions all day long. If you’ve got any requests for topics to be covered in a question, leave them below in comments. I may or may not heed your advice. Oh, and be sure to get your brackets filled out before tomorrow to win your share of $150 in prizes. Password is goodtimes.

Two of St. Patrick’s letters survive, and tell us most of what we know about him. What are they called? (shorter Latin answers are fine)

Tickets will be on sale tonight. Don’t miss this show, folks. Seriously. Get a team together. It’s gonna be a hell of a night.

Irish Quiz Bomb starts tonight. All questions this week about Ireland, though as I said before, that covers a lot of territory. In addition to the Bounty Bowl at O’Neals tonight, there will be a dollar off Guinness at the Bards and plenty of Guinness giveaways. The Bards has been kinda quiet on Tuesdays lately, so you should have a good shot at a table. And be sure to get your Quizzo Bowl tix tonight. If you wait until the day of, the price goes up $5. Hope to see ya tonight!

New quizzo starting on Monday, March 22nd. Ok, so I won’t be hosting, but that is part of what will be fun about it, because I’m gonna try to play on some weeks. Mike Minion is going to start hosting a quiz on Monday nights at the Ugly American at 8 p.m. and the Westbury at 10:15 p.m. This will be his quiz, I’ll just be helping him promote it. In other words, he’s writing the questions. He’s telling me there will be a bit more cerebral questions and less pop culture than my quiz. (And I’m guessing that he’s going to be playing a lot of obscure 70s one hit wonders between rounds. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Gonna be interesting to see how it goes, but I’m excited to play.

Next week will be Irish Quiz Bomb Week at quizzo. All questions will be Irish related. Trust me, that will cover a lot of territory. I take “Irish” very loosely (i.e. there could be questions about Notre Dame, Boondock Saints, Lucky Charms, etc.) It’s gonna be fun.

However, there will be no quiz at the Black Sheep next week. If you think that we can pull off a quizzo at 8 p.m. at an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day, you’re nuts. All other quizzes are on, at least as of now. I’ll keep you updated, but as of now we’re on for the Rendezvous.

There will only be one group of quiz questions next week. Quizzo Bowl week is the one week of the year that Philly’s only true man of leisure can’t find a lot of time to create questions. The good news: Steak Em Up can only win once at the Bards next week. Thank God.

We kick it off at the Ugly American at 8 p.m. The joint has been jumping lately. Let’s keep it going tonight. If you haven’t been to quizzo lately because you can’t find a table, well, I’d suggest the Bards. Temple and Penn are on spring break right now, so it should be a great opportunity to snag a table. $2.50 Miller Lites and Lagers during quizzo. And of course I’ll be doling out free fries tonight. And I’d expect at least a couple of Corey Haim questions.

Looks like this I Heart the 90s Quiz isn’t all that tough. We had a 118 and a 117 scored last night. I was rather liberal with what “90s” entailed, but that didn’t seem to present too many problems. As for tonight, we kick it off at the Vous at 6:15 p.m. This has become a hotbed of sexy quizzo action, as it is the most competitive quiz on the market right now. Then on to the Black Sheep, where there is without question the most parity in quizzo, with a new winner seemingly every week. That quiz pops off at 8 p.m. And I have both free wrestling tickets to whoever wants them for this weekend and sweet last place prizes. Hope to see ya tonight!

This is the 80s and Loc is down with the ladies. Tone Loc turns 44 today.

I am not surprised that so many people are killed by captive animals, but that so few are. As someone who used to work in an interactive dolphin show, I saw more close calls than I care to remember. With the explosion in popularity of interactive dolphin programs, there are thousands of people interacting daily with 500-600 pound animals, animals that can be quite aggressive and are extremely sexual. It is a recipe for disaster, and it is nothing short of a miracle in my eyes that no tourists have been killed in these interactions. It is not that most bottlenose dolphins used in these interactions are attackers, but it’s just like if you had a 600 pound dog: It could be extremely sweet, but if some moron starts petting its face, things are going to end poorly. Thus it is in these interactions where people who are drunk, don’t know better, or can’t follow directions repeatedly. They will make sudden moves or touch the animals around the face, and it is a testament to the sweetness of the animals that most of the time, when someone gets in the water and acts like an idiot, the dolphins just swim away and snort for a few minutes.

I have mixed feelings about dolphins in captivity, but I have no such internal debates about killer whales in captivity. It is wrong. As is evidenced by the recent death at Sea World, these animals are extremely dangerous, not because of their aggressiveness (killer whales almost never attack people in the wild) but because of their size and power. These are not predators of humans, and deaths associated with them are almost always by drowning. (In fact, I had a boss who was once dragged to the bottom of the tank by a killer whale, and was only saved when another trainer jumped in the water and began punching the whale in the eye.) The point is that while trainers can survive an attack by a 500 pound dolphin, when an 11,000 pound animal gets the idea in its head to drag a person to the bottom of the tank, disaster is all but inevitable.

The real problem I have with keeping these animals in captivity is not the danger, however. I have friends who train killer whales, and they know that they are doing something dangerous. And like a NASCAR driver, that thrill of doing something dangerous is part of why they do it. The real problem is that these animals do not belong in captivity. They are migratory animals by nature (though little is known about their migratory patterns) and to have them live in a tank in which they can barely turn around is nothing short of cruel. They are social animals, and often in captivity they spend long periods of time alone, and in fact there are some killer whales in captivity that live their entire lives alone. And it is no secret that these highly evolved animals experience depression when isolated. (I have in fact seen dolphins diagnosed as such, and regularly given Prozac.)

But is the answer to release them into the wild? Probably not. As was seen with Keiko, an animal that becomes dependent on humans for food cannot all of a sudden hunt as soon as they are released into the wild. The answer to the problem would be to maintain the ones currently in captivity, and make a law that all remaining killer whales in captivity are to be sterilized. Thus the show could go on, until the final whale passes away, which will be decades from now. By that time, I think that people will already be over these silly killer whale shows, the same way people eventually stopped laughing at the elephants in the circus and instead began to feel sorry for them. 

With millions of dollars flowing in annually on these shows, don’t expect anyone in the industry to take the first step in doing what is right. Expect them to ride this gravy train for all it’s worth. And expect these highly evolved animals to do the same routine so many times in a row that it makes them crazy. And finally, expect there to be more deadly consequences in the future.

One of the greatest American’s of All-Time turns 61. It’s about time you people started giving Ric Flair the respect he so richly deserves.

Zero inches of snow does not deter Philadelphia’s only true man of leisure. Therefore, after a two martini lunch at the new Garces Trading Company, I am busily preparing questions for tonight’s quiz. I hope to see you there. First of all we’ve got a Bounty Bowl at the Ugly American. Anyone who can knock off L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics and take home the first prize can go home with $25 of my cash in addition to their $30 gift certificate. That’s $55 to your team if you win tonight. Ugly American at 8 p.m.

Then, on to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. Can somebody please put a decent team together and take Steak Em Up to the wood shed? Please? Call your smart friends. Tell them it is vital to the national security that they come out tonight. Let’s make this happen.

Didn’t get much done on the website today because I went to see some of the guys I coach play a playoff game for their high school team (Math, Civics, and Sciences.) Strangely, it was the first time I’ve ever been at a high school basketball game that got called due to rain (roof was leaking). But enough about me, let’s talk about you. You will be attending quizzo tonight, either at O’Neals at 8 p.m. or Bards at 10 p.m. Yes. That’s an order. I will see you there.