Juan Buenostiempos Announces Retirement

In a shocking announcement this morning, Juan Buenostiempos, Johnny’s cousin from south of the border and a well known and respected entertainer in Mexico (he’s won numerous Latin Grammy’s), declared that his RPS days are over. “Yo estoy finito,” said a disconsolate Buenostiempos, who actually won two matches last night. But it was his behavior in his second match, where he nearly ripped the arm off of a female contestant and threw her into a table (“El fue un accidente,” said an apologetic Buenostiempos), that turned the crowd against him and prompted his retirement. When the crowd began jeering, Buenostiempos shot them a double bird. He said “Lo siento” after the match was over, but the damage was done. Buenostiempos will head back into the studio, and is expected to record a song about his experiences on the American RPS circuit. It will be muy bueno.