Monthly Archives: February 2005

Johnny Cash on Friday Night

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Since I do serve as the Man in Black’s unofficial fan club president, I thought I should inform you that he will playing in a Tsunami Relief Concert on Friday Night at Abilene’s (429 South Street) at 9:00 p.m.

Camden to Host Draft

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Two lawmakers from New Jersey are trying to bring the NFL draft to Camden. In a statement released by the commisioner’s office, Paul Tagliabue stated, “We’ll hold the draft in Camden if we’re not able to find a suitable arena in Fallujah.”

Oh No!!! NHL cancels season!!!

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To be honest, I haven’t been this upset since I found out that Uday and Qusay had died. I mean, no more Wednesday nights watching sluggish 60 minute games finish 1-0 every single time? No more games between the Columbus Blue Jackets and Phoenix Coyotes? Instead I have to watch more ACC basketball? Say it ain’t so!!! Judging by this interview I’m watching, NHL commish Gary Bettman is a real prick, so I’m blaming the whole thing on him, even though I don’t know any of the facts. In the event that I’m right, Thank you Gary!!! There’s a part of me that wants the 2005-06 season to be cancelled as well, but there is also a part of me that wants to see NHL games played in front of 350 people next year, so I’m kind of torn.

B-ball Tourney this weekend

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There’s a three on three basketball tournament at the YMCA on 17th and Christian on Saturday. The cost is $30 per team, and it starts at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday. Either get there early to sign up or call Alec at 215 735-5800. I’ll be playing, so here’s your chance to see if you can stop Goodtimes on the hardwood floor. (Here’s a hint: You can’t).

Can You Beat Ken?

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I’m going to save you the $24.99 it costs to buy “Can You Beat Ken?”, the board game by telling you this: You can’t beat Ken.

Just thought I’d share

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Took these photos yesterday near my house.
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Johnny to Play Worst Love Songs Ever!

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In honor of this glorious holiday, Johnny has decided to play the worst love songs of all time all week long. He needs your help! Please request the worst love song you’ve ever heard in the request a song category. Or post on the message board what you think the worst love song ever is.

Burn, Valentine’s, Burn!

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Hindu hardliners in India are burning valentine cards because they feel like Western Culture is trying to force the world’s lamest holiday on them. In other news, we love Hindu hardliners. Also, here’s a pretty hilarious article in Slate about V.D. (valentines’ day). By the way, tonights Valentine’s Spectacular at Doc Watson’s will include numerous questions about spurned lovers and monstrous crimes.

Question of the week

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What did Elisha Gray file a patent for on February 14, 1876?

Eagles Hurry Up Offense pulls off upset

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Learning from his mistakes on Sunday, Andy Reid proved that he can lead a team in the late going, as the Eagles Hurry Up Offense ran away from the opposition on Monday night at Doc Watson’s. “A victory at Doc Watson’s is no Super Bowl,” said Andy, “But it’s close. And I hope people notice how quickly we were writing down answers in that final round, especially those last six minutes.”

Score One for the Trannies!

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13th and Spruce was aglow this past week, as women formerly known as men were cleared to play in this year’s British Open. Mianne Bagger (I SWEAR I DID NOT MAKE THAT NAME UP!!!), who was, ahem, debagged in 1995, will be able to participate in this years tourney. However, you will not find Bagger strapping on a pair (of golf shoes, that is) in the US anytime soon. Tranny golfers cannot play in the US. Because they’re f****** weird. (Vote for whether or not trannies should be allowed to play golf in this weeks poll.)

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Here’s a pretty good “Only in Philly” photo on a local blog.

Fred Ex dissed

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Quote of the week: “All he does is talk. He’s terrible, and you can print that. I was happy when he was in the game.” -Bill Belichick, talking in Sports Illustrated about Fred Ex. Then, Freddie went on record as saying the Patriots were “like little girls“. Uh, Fred, little girls don’t win three Super Bowls in four years. Little girls catch one pass for 11 yards. Then, to prove that he’s completely delusional, he complained about TO taking away from his playing time. Yeah, kind of like Michel Jordan took away from Jim Paxon’s playing time.

You bet your balls!

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“If Wales wins, I’ll cut my balls off.” Wales won. Thanks to Brian for sending me this link. If you come across any good stuff for the website, feel free to send me a link. Sorry about the video link. It worked yesterday. I don’t know what happened.