Monthly Archives: March 2004

What’s the only b-ball team to win both the NIT and the NCAA basketball tournament in the same year?

Don’t call it a comeback. Screwed the Pooch came from 12 points down in the final round to knock off the Nation of Quizlam at Nick’s Roast Beef by 13 points. Sadly the Nation, who had the double digit lead heading hit into the final stanza, hit an iceberg midway through the fourth round. The disaster was so dramatic, so amazing, that Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet have already been signed to do a really awful movie about it.

Despite dealing with an injury to Dwayne, who fell off his skateboard in the opening credits, the team of Dwayne, Rerun, Rog, and Shirley were able to pull away in round four at Doc Watson’s Quizzo on Monday. The Quizard of Oz finished second. Later it was discovered that the team had been grounded and shouldn’t have been out at all, something which came to light when Dee showed up. “Ooooh, I’m gonna tell mama!” she stated before storming out the door.

In a surprise decision, the NCAA ceded to the demands of Johnny Goodtimes and rescheduled the St. Joe’s game on Thursday night. With the game scheduled for 7:30 p.m., officials were contacted by Goodtimes, who had a quizzo scheduled for 8 at the Good Dog. “It was one of those things where you make adjustments just to stay on the right side of a megastar like Goodtimes,” said NCAA president Myles Brand. “We piss him off, and the next thing you know, nobody’s watching this little tournament of ours.” The game was moved to 9:50 p.m., just when quizzo should be ending.

In 1932, Actress Peg Entwistle committed suicide by jumping off of what?

Due to camera problems experienced this week, I do not have pics of the winners. However, I did my best to keep the fans happy. Everything will be back up and running by next week.

The Quizaholics Anonymous won at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, squeaking past Your Mom’s On Tap, 102-97. One of the first round round questions was, “What Hollywood superstar doesn’t have time for relationships, so she just has sex in hotel rooms with her friends? Answer: Angelina Jolie. Which brings up this point: If anyone sees or talks with Angelina in the next few weeks, please tell her I’m a great listener, a good shoulder to cry on, and I have no problem keeping secrets.

Johnny Goodtimes went to the flower show on Saturday, but that doesn’t mean that he’s some sort of sissy, reports from Chinatown indicate. “There were a lot of other men there,” said Johnny, though critics were quick to point out that most of them were either married or at the very least had a date. Johnny went on to say that he’ll probably have pansies in his garden this year, but that he isn’t one. “I mean, yeah, I get my ass kicked a lot, but I usually get a couple of lucky shots in here and there.”

Beef up on your Ireland knowledge.

Ferocious Dump had wanted to get the whole Clay Aiken episode behind them. “We’re not even thinking about that clown now that William Hung is on the scene.” Alas, they were forced to think about him one last time, as Johnny’s camera “mysteriously” broke on Tuesday, forcing Johnny to use an old photo after the Dump’s big win. “We have every reason to believe this was an act of sabotage, probably perpetrated by the QLA,” said John Ashcroft from a hospital bed where hopefully he’ll die. “It has all the earmarks of a QLA (Quizzo Liberation Army) strike. They’re still mad that Johnny hasn’t responded to their demands that the True-False Round be dissolved. If Johnny wasn’t such a leftist pinko commie we would do a full investigation. ”

Hawaii Quiz-O, hot on the trail of the evil Wo Fat, stopped by Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night, withstood a late charge from the Peco Power Play, and took a victory back to the islands. Then they noticed a local sleezebag, Otis “Silver Fox” Maplethorpe playing for another team. Danny Williams caught the swarthy bastard trying to escape out the door. Book ‘em, Danno!

What two ships collided in the North Atlantic on July 25th, 1956?